Typically good relationships have some element of surprise and the unexpected in them. The key to this is tension. Tension is critical in the early stages of a relationship and can be a healthy stepping stone in establishing a deeper connection down the road. While it may seem counter-productive, tension actually helps to create a positive environment. Here are a few tips on how to create tension in the first kiss.
In a new relationship, most men make the mistake of rushing forward like Speedy Gonzales, and inadvertently they end up killing tension. Like guiding a sailboat on a placid lake, they assume everything is going just fine and forget that all the fun and memories are created when you survive a stormy sea. A relationship without tension is like a boat on a placid lake —ultimately it creates a status quo experience, and nobody wants to be just status quo.
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Imagine a romantic evening at your place with your intended over a bottle of wine. If you are like most men, then you will simply wait for the wine to take affect to see how far things will go. However, a far better way to go about things is to use the evening as an opportunity to create tension, thus establishing a stronger foundation for your future relationship together. Here is how you need to play out the scenario to create tension:
You: Lean over to casually play with her hair while talking to her.
Her: She seems not to mind as we continue to talk.
You: Intentionally stop playing with her hair.
You: Then wait a minute and start playing with her hair again.
Her: She reacts to this by smiling while you continue to chat.
You: Stop playing with her hair and look into her eyes.
Her: She puts her hand on your leg and starts caressing it.
You: Start playing more intensely with her hair and slowly move into give her a soft kiss on each cheek, and the pull back for a moment to create tension. Then lean in to give her a slow kiss on the lips.
You: Next, you stop kissing her while still playing with her hair. (Note: You are pulling back with the kissing while still moving forward.)
You: Lean to kiss her again and after a few moments (maybe 30 seconds), You will feel her energy opening up indicated by the pressure of her lips now pressing on yours. They key here is that she is initiating the pressure.
You: Gently pull the pressure of your lips and pull your lips back which triggers her increasing the pressure.
With glasses fogging over, I think you have the idea of what I am talking about here. The idea is that the constant "push and pull" creates in her the desire of continually wanting more. It amps up the chemistry.
On a deeper level you are also sending information that you are a patient man that is self-disciplined. Self-disciplined men are more attractive to women because they are more likely to have self-discipline in other areas of life which is a necessary trait for success.
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