The Absolute Best Time To Meet Someone, According To A Dating Coach

Lose the group and head out on your own.

By David Wygant
Last updated on Dec 03, 2023

Photo: Christin Hume | Unsplash

Let me ask you a question: Do you want to go out on weekends to meet someone, but you don't want to do it alone so badly that you're willing to gather a group of your friends together whose personalities don't even mesh to do it?

Doesn't it seem, though, like when you go out with all of your friends you don’t ever seem to meet anybody? There are a few reasons why.

If you’re a woman and you’re going out with a bunch of friends, there’s always one in the group who’s had a bad week or has gotten dumped, or the guy she likes didn’t call her back, or her boss was nasty to her all week. She’s the “poor me” of the group, and all she wants to do is complain the night away.

So what all of you do, being good friends is give her the attention she needs instead of the sedative I’d give her. What happens when a group of guys approach your group, is that someone gets stuck talking to Ms. “Poor Me” as she is in her “I hate men” mode. That’s the end of that group dynamic!

I know all the ladies have experienced something similar with men because guys can be equally as bad as women. They’ll go out in a pack like a bunch of wolves. There’s always the guy who hasn’t been on a date in a while who blames all women for that when in fact he just has no rap. So then when your group is trying to talk to him, one of you gets stuck talking to Mr. “No Rap” who comes over babbling random things and sending the conversation in sixteen different directions.

This all doesn't sound too fun, does it? It also doesn't seem to be getting the desired result of meeting someone. Let me suggest a better idea — try going out to meet someone on the weekends during the day . . . and by yourself.

I spend my weekend days alone. I may grab lunch with a friend, but in general, I’m alone. That puts me in a perfect situation to meet women. When you go to meet men, being alone is so much better because you don’t have to deal with your friends . . . It’s just you and them. They’re not distracted at all.

Photo: MAOIKO via Shutterstock

You can strike up a casual conversation everywhere . . . from the dry cleaners to coffee shops, to department stores, to grocery stores, to video stores. You could spend the whole day by yourself talking to people. Try it one weekend.