Online Dating got you down?
Recently I was coaching a woman on how to write her online profile. Before we wrote the profile, I asked her to send me her four best pictures. I asked her to do this because men are as visual as Scooby Doo on steroids.
The first thing they do when they see your profile online is NOT read about your trip to Italy last summer . . . they want to see how hot you are. Keep in mind that every man has different taste in women, so what is “hot” to one man will be totally different than what is “hot” to another.
So I explained this to my client, and I asked her to send me her four best photos -- pictures that represent who she is in her life. What she sent me is mistake #1 of the biggest mistakes women (including you nurses!) make online.
Here are the 7 biggest online dating mistakes nurses make:
1. Provide accurate information. All photos that you post on an online dating profile MUST BE CURRENT!! List your exact body type. It seems like on the Internet EVERYBODY is "athletic and toned," "petite" or "fit and trim." List your real age. In the world of Internet dating, "29" usually means somewhere in your 30's. He is going to find out what you look like, so you might as well tell the truth in your profile. Why start a potential relationship on a lie? Men are guilty of the same thing, and I advise them the same way.
2. I'm really glad you had a great time on your vacation, but you don't need to post 10 photos of your trip to Italy WITHOUT you in them. This is a dating site, not a trip adviser. Also, stop posting pictures of you skydiving, winter skiing, waterskiing, or doing anything else where we can't see what you look like in the picture.
3. Keep your profile short and to the point. Make your paragraphs very short. I've seen too many women's profiles that look like romance novels. Take a look at ESPN.com and read an article in the sports section. All paragraphs are short so men can digest that information in short bursts. Keep your audience in mind when writing your profile!
4. Don't appear self-absorbed. I've seen many women's profiles that say, "I want a man to be this," "I want a man to do that," "I want a man to cherish me," "I want a man to adore me"... You list all your "I wants" without listing what YOU will bring to the relationship. So you end up looking like you're a taker and not a giver (and we know that as a nurse that could not be further from the truth!) No man wants to be with a taker; he wants to be with someone who's equally willing to give and to receive. So don't let how you word your profile misrepresent who you really are.
5. Don't list your financial desires like you're posting a want ad. I've seen too many women write, "I'm looking for a man who will spoil me, buy me great things, and take me on great trips." You come across as a gold digger. Instead say, "I like the finer things in life to share with somebody," so you don't come across so harsh.
6. No baby talk! Even if the number one priority in your life is to be a mother, nothing scares a man off more than if you write in your profile about how badly you want kids. He may feel the same way, but he is going to think, "This woman will marry anybody to have kids." Write something a little more toned down like, "Families are important to me, and I can't wait to meet my special man so I can start a family." This shows you're selective and not just looking for someone with whom to make a kid.
7. Stop sending winks. When is the last time you went to the supermarket, saw a cute guy and winked at him? Winks went out of style when "Happy Days" went off the air. You don't like it when men send you a wink. You think it makes him seem lazy and like he didn't read your profile. We think the same thing! So stop winking and start typing. We know you're looking at us, because we see that you've viewed our profile every day. Say "hello!" We're not going to bite. Lob that email in. Take a chance and send an email to the guy to whom you're most attracted. You never know what might happen!
I have found when online dating that if you're honest about who you are, and you get back to people immediately, you'll get the date faster and avoid all the back and forth games that go on.
As a nurse, you have a busy career life. Don't let simple mistakes in your online profile keep you from having a great dating life. Now go change that profile!