He was just hard! Why did he go limp so suddenly?
I'm sure this has happened to you. You're with a guy, fooling around and grinding. He's hard. You get naked and he goes down on you. You cum, you scream, and you have a great orgasm. He's still hard, but when you start going down on him, all of a sudden that once hard, throbbing male member becomes as soft as Glide dental floss.
Was it you? Did your blow job skills, somehow or another, disappear? You think back in your head because that's exactly where you're going. You think, "God, my last boyfriend loved when I did this" or "I've always been really good at this." Now your mind is racing 100 miles an hour, and you're thinking to yourself, "what am I doing wrong, does he not like it? Should I ask him? Should I ask him if I'm not doing it right?"
Of course, you can't resist and speak up in an ever-so-bashful-way, and say, "are you enjoying this?" He, of course, goes, "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," then he stutters. Meanwhile, nothing's happening. You think it's actually unbelievable. No, this can't be. It's getting smaller. I didn't think it could ever be this small. As a matter of fact, you've never seen a penis this small in your entire life.
And now you're really in your head, so you stop and you think to yourself "what can I do right now to get him hard?" You look at him and say, "I need you right now," "I want you right now," "I'm so wet," "I'm dying for you." Then, you look at him and you catch a momentary glimpse of... was that fear on his face?
You look down and you see that not only has it become dental floss, but now it looks like it's been swimming in the water for four hours. This could be the smallest penis you've ever seen in your entire life. You look at him, he looks at you, and you're having this awkward moment between the two of you. His manhood is definitely being compromised. Your womanhood is being compromised. You're now flashing back to all the men you've ever had sex with and think to yourself, "what is happening? It never happened before. I like this guy, what did I do wrong?"
He looks at you and he says something really dumb. He blames it on the alcohol even though he only had one drink, or he'll blame it on stress from work. But do you want to know the truth? Do you want to know the real reason why he got limp? Well, let me tell you, there's a few reasons. Some of them are easy to explain, and one of them you may not want to hear.
1. We are emotional beings, too. He just got nervous. He actually likes you, and even though he gave you a rip-roaring, incredibly beautiful orgasm when he went down on you, he has built up in his mind what it feels like to have sex with you, and he's scared. He has performance anxiety.
He probably had a conversation with his friend earlier that day, hoping this didn't happen, because it's happened to him before. As he goes limper and limper, he's thinking to himself, "gosh, I should have taken that Viagra from my friend." Men get nervous.
And I'll tell you a secret—it happens to me sometimes the first time I'm with somebody. I don't know them. I'm not fully comfortable with them yet, and I get in my own head. No big deal, it doesn't last. I literally look at her and say, "You know what, I'm just nervous right now. Can we take a break for a little while and snuggle?"
2. Too much booze. If your guy actually has had too much to drink, his hard-on will not last. They don't call it "whisky dick" for nothing. One drink to take the edge off is cool. More than that and you might have a problem. His problem.
Now the next one I'm going to tell you about, this one you've got to sit down. This one you need to learn from. But don’t get defensive, okay? I promise you that it's not your blow job skills.
3. He just may not be that into you. He might actually be a really good guy and doesn't know what to do. He's conflicted. The caveman side of him, like in National Lampoon's Animal House, has a little devil on his shoulder that says, "fuck her, fuck her."
And the other (nice guy) side of him is saying, "no, man, you don't like her that much, you don't want to take her down this path, she's a really nice girl. Be a stand-up guy, man, don't sleep with her right now." So, he may not be that into you, and he might actually be doing you a favor by not being hard. Strange, but true.
Don't look at it as an insult. See if he calls you again. If not, it's not because he was embarrassed he didn't get hard. He just didn't have the balls to tell you that he's not that into you. His dick told you.
Look, performance anxiety happens all the time. I can't tell you how many times I've been going down on a woman and she's about to have an orgasm, and she suddenly loses it. I'm thinking, "where did it go?" Did it get lost in the woods? Did it get lost somewhere under the sheets? Did it get lost because I'm doing the exact thing that she liked and instructed me to do at that moment? She kept telling me not to stop moving my tongue a certain way and I never stopped. She just went into her head. So, when you lose your orgasm, Mr. Clit is still working, but your head has taken over.
It's the same exact thing for men. Think about all the times you've lost your orgasm because you got into your head, you got nervous, you got shy, whatever it might be. He's most likely doing the same exact thing.