When Men Say ‘I’ll Call You’


When Men Say ‘I’ll Call You’
What men REALLY mean when they utter these words at the end of a first date.

One thing you can usually depend on with men (other than leaving the toilet seat up), is that you can take our words at face value. Our speech is primarily goal-oriented and our words can be taken literary. One important example to the contrary, however, is the phrase, “I’ll call you.” On the surface, this phrase sounds simple enough: Three little words that seem to promise a future interaction. But the truth is, more often than not, when uttered by a guy at the close of a first date, all they really mean is “good-bye.”

So why do guys break with their usual direct (some might call blunt) language usage and opt for a pleasantry that is intentionally misleading, and has left more than a few women wondering if their phone service, hearing, or understanding of the English language is faulty? The answer may surprise you. It is primarily because the end of a date is a particularly stressful time for men, and we’re looking for an exit line that is both brief and vaguely upbeat. “I’ll call you,” fills the bill to a “t.”

You see, for a man, the end of a date is the culmination of a serious amount of effort on his part. First he had to risk rejection to ask you out. Then he had to spend the evening trying to impress you with his wit, intelligence, charm and accomplishments, while avoiding alienating you with his opinions, arrogance, poor conversational skills or lack of proper table etiquette. He wants to make sure everything goes right so at the end of the evening your clothing will magically melt away and the two of you will be joined in a sweaty, undulating mass of ecstatically-intertwined flesh, knowing all the while that, at best, he’ll likely have to settle for a little tongue and a quick feel. But he is also aware that he may fall far short of his goal. His attempt to initiate physical interaction may subject him to rejection, ridicule or being seriously laughed at. Or, horror of horrors, when he goes in for a lip lock, you might shift the target at the last moment causing him the ultimate humiliation – a close encounter with your cheek.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David M. Matthews


Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who’s worked on some of television’s favorite shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to www.EveryManSeesYouNaked.com.

Location: Porter Ranch, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by David M. Matthews:

Getting Men To Stop "Fixing" Your Emotions


Question: My significant other does not know how to handle my emotion when I am depressed or sad. He said he wanted to fix things, but he does not know how, so now he tends to shy away. And his avoidance only makes me feel worse. Is there a way for us to arrive at a happy medium? —Rhonda Answer: This is a great question, and one that has ... Read more

Change Of Heart: Now She Wants Him Back


Question: My ex and I broke up several months ago after five years. Right after the break-up (which was pretty much mutual) I became desperate and needy, begging for him back, which obviously only pushed him away. Now that we've gone almost two months with no contact, we've started texting a very little bit here and there. I'm looking to get back ... Read more

Should She Pursue Former Crush...20 Years Later?


Question: I have an unusual situation here...a guy I served with in the military back in my twenties (we are in our mid 40's now), found me on Facebook two years ago (I was married then).  He often sent me texts: jokes, political things, discussions about our kids (we both have teenaged boys, he's divorced).  We discovered that we had crushes ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular