Where there is a will, there is a way! But, I know that some curvy women have to be somewhat creative when it comes to using sex toys alone or with a partner. All of us fat women are built differently. And, truthfully, it's because of the fact that all of our curves are in different places that the plus size lingerie manufactureres struggle with designing lingerie that fits us well.
Let me tell you a little bit about me, first. I am a fat girl. I tend to refer to myself as a curvy girl since I own a lingerie store called Curvy Girl Lingerie. But, the word “fat” does not offend me. I know it does offend some of you, so I will stick with Curvy Girl for this article. I just opened my plus size lingerie store in San Jose in Oct. 2012. But, I have been a business owner since 2003 and I have spent the last 10 years of my life selling sex toys online and via our home pleasure parties that we facilitate all over the Bay Area.
I have talked to tens of thousands of women about their sex life, typically in a very private setting. Often, after one of my pleasure parties, my customer’s friends’ would come and confide in me things I don’t think they have ever admitted to anyone else. Since I am a bigger woman, I think they felt like maybe they could share with me without any shame and little embarrassment.
Some bigger women cannot reach their clitoris easily. Some plus size women have short arms and some curvy girls have a large lower tummy. Some curvy women have both short arms and a larger tummy so they can have difficulty reaching their own clitoris. But, like I said in the beginning of my article – where there is a will there is a way!
- The infamous Hitachi Magic Wand is a "back" massager that plugs into the wall so there is no need to fuss around with batteries. It's a good 12 to 14" in length and the head that vibrates is very powerful. Women can use it with a partner and put it between you and your lover. Or, you can lay it on your bed and lean up against it or lay down on it if you lay face down. (Get creative. Use some pillows if you need to.)
- The cousin to the Hitachi Magic Wand is the Mystic Wand - and both come from Vibratex in Napa. The Mystic Wand is the cordless version of the Hitachi Magic Wand. It takes 4 double aa batteries and is uber quiet. It's also the more elegant version as the Hitachi Magic Wand is not pretty - but let me tell you it will get the job done. The Mystic Wand is shorter, though. It's about 8" long. This toy, like #1 will mostly be used for clitoral and labial vibration. Most women do not insert, but you can do whatever feels good to you.
- LELO.com makes some really artful and beautiful rechargeable toys and let's start with their LELO.com Elise Noir 2. The LELO Elise Noir 2 has two motors in the tip and 2 motors in the base. Some rechargeable toys are not enough vibration for me to get me all the way to a climax. This one has yummy silicone skin and lots of pulsing and escalating which I love in a sex toy. You also have to love the warranty and the guarantee on the LELO toys. It's also nice and slip so let's say you want to do some reverse cowgirl - which is very often a great positon for a curvy girl - you can get on top and ride him, but then it's long enough and slender enough that you can hold it on your clitoris or tickle his testicles with it while he is inside of you. FUN in the SUN ladies!
- LELO.com also makes a rechargeable dual "twice as nice" vibe called the Soraya. Similar to the Elise, but it also has a clitoral stimulator attached to the vibrating shaft. Plus, like all LELO products, it's pretty and elegant. And I would also love to give LELO.com a shout out for their back massager called the SmartWand. It's a beautiful toy and perfect for curvy girls because of the length of the handle. LELO.com makes it easy to reach your clitoris, Curvy Girls.
- How about a plus size wearable vibe, curvies? It's called Fixsation. My friends Tiffany and her sister created a toy that actually fits a woman size 18 to 22. They are a very pretty pair of lacey open crotch panties that allows you to attach their special flat vibe to the panties and then go wild. You can wear it in the missionary style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy style or any other way you like to get yours!
- Now, my all time favorite "go to" is a 5 speed bullet made by a company called TLC. And, as author and sex educator Virgie Tovar discussed at my store at a book signing at Curvy Girl Lingerie: "A lot of plus-size women - myself included - have gorgeously voluptuous vulvas. Exciting news: chubbier vulvas with fuller outer labia are perfect for tucking smaller toys into! Just spread the lips a little, slip the vibrator against your clitoris, sit back (or, hell, go to the mall) and be amazed at how well the toy stays in place. This secret spot also ensures an almost noiseless experience." (And fat girls, I highly recommend Virgie's book "Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion and you can buy it from Amazon here.)
- Last but not least, I am a big fan of the Lia Magic Wand for Curvy couples. This toy has 10 speeds and is made with medical grade silicone. I love how quiet this toy is and how much power there is in the tip of this toy. LOVE a toy company that puts the vibe in the tip. Now, it's only about 7" long, so if you have a hard to reaching your clitoris, this will add a good 6" or 7" to your reach. If you wanted to get creative with it, you could possibly insert in bteween your box springs and your mattress for some doggy style fun with this wand! Just back up to your bed and have some fun. This toy is also slender enough to use while you are making love - slide it between the two of you when you are on your back - or use it for nipple or testicle stimulation. It's a very versatile toy with no wires and is super quiet and powerful.