You know something that has always confused me? Some of the unenlightened see vibrators and dildos as replacements for a partner. As I mentioned in my blog about sex toy addiction, a sex toy is only an enhancement. Toys are an APPETIZER. Your PARTNER is the main course.
Seriously, how often are you completely satisfied by an appetizer? Sex toys are designed primarily to get you warmed up, and it’s common knowledge that women typically need more warm up then men.
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My opinion? If you embrace the toys (guys, I’m talking to you), you may just find out they make your job EASIER! Integrating a quiet vibrator into your lovemaking can make MOMMA EXTRA HAPPY, and we all know the old adage about when MOMMA ain’t happy.
Guys, the unfortunate reality is that nearly all penises are wired the same. They are fairly easy to figure out and are pretty much idiot proof. Most women could meet a stranger and have relatively little trouble figuring out how to give him an orgasm. Women (and our mysterious genitalia) are a whole different animal. Some women can orgasm in 30 seconds, but some take 5 minutes, and some take 40 minutes or more. Even worse? The sad fact is that some women can’t get off AT ALL.
If it takes your woman 40 minutes or more to reach orgasm, why not add in a toy that could make it easier for both of you? With a small vibrator, you can use the soft vibration on her nipples, her neck, and her back…her entire body really. Move it around slowly on her lower tummy, or try using a little more pressure with it on her pelvic bone.
Take the toy and tease her a bit with it to get her warmed up. DO NOT just plunge right in.
Make sure she is warmed up and lubricated before you allow it to touch her clitoris. If she is not lubricating on her own, do not take that as a personal affront to your skills. Sometimes it’s hormonal and sometimes it’s just how we are wired.
If you take the time to help the blood flow increase to her pelvic region, what you will find is a woman who is HIGHLY responsive and who will have an orgasm much more easily.
If your jaw feels like it will fall off during oral lovemaking with your partner and she STILL doesn’t seem any closer to getting off, don’t be afraid to bring in a toy to help both of you out. It can be your secret weapon, and will do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. Using a toy in conjunction with your tongue and fingers can give her that little extra vibration that she needs to reach climax from oral. Seriously – think of how much less work your tongue has to do!
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So that’s my challenge to all you men out there who really want to see your wives or girlfriends transform into sexually charged, super lusty vixens – give her an orgasm before you penetrate her. Use your fingers, your tongue, a toy, whatever it takes to get her there. Give her an orgasm, then have sex, and then give her another orgasm after.
One orgasm is all it takes to turn a quiet woman into a ravenous, aggressive, hot-for-you sex fiend. Follow my advice and you just may see a side of your partner you have never seen before!