10 Ways To Determine If You, Yourself, Are Marriage Material
The right characteristics for marriage.
Karolina Grabowska | Unsplash Why do some people find a marriage partner for the second or third time, and others never seem to be able to find one marriage partner?
Let me tell you, it’s not about having movie star looks.
There are some similar characteristics shared by people who connect romantically to find a marriage partner and tie the knot.
I have distilled it down to 10. Rate each one from zero to ten and see how fully you exhibit these characteristics.
Here are 10 ways to determine if you, yourself, are marriage material:
1. You think of others and how your actions can impact them.
Larissa Martin shares this idea, "If people were more open and honest with each other, their friendships would be much happier and healthier. They might also realize how much their words affect their friends."
2. You look at the good in people and not always look at the negative
"If you are a good person, you know how energy flows between us, our environments, and other people. You strive to bring positive vibes with you and leave every person and place you encounter much better than you found it," states NyRee Ausler.
3. You genuinely like other people
Here's an example from Akshad Singi, "We need true friends and family to be happy. This is the most annoyingly basic rule of happiness people ignore to this day. Build genuine relationships with good people and let that fuel your life.4. You desire to have a family, and you like to be around other peoples’ kids and pets."
5. You can tolerate your partner’s imperfections. You do not judge them harshly for their flaws.
"If your relationship is solid, you should feel happy and supported. You feel like there's someone you can always count on, no matter what may come," according to Siddharth S Kumaar.
6. You are a good listener. You do not interrupt them when they are talking and have them feel you understand them.
Coaching expert Lynette Baker says, "Actively listening provides you with a different perspective. This can open you up to new ideas, and ways of thinking, and release judgments you may not have realized were there."
7. You are open-minded and can consider other people’s suggestions, ideas, or perspectives. You do not discount their comments.
"Consideration means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing the world from her perspective. You don’t have to agree with her and accept she is entitled to her view of the world," is the perspective from Jan Bowen.
8. You can be flexible and try to accommodate your partner’s requests and needs, whenever possible.
Erin Watson makes it clear that "Flexibility is important in all aspects of life, so it's not surprising that people who can put this trait to work can form healthier, more solid relationships."
9. You show appreciation for your partner. You express it verbally and through action or tokens of appreciation, such as gifts.
"Expressing gratitude is not only beneficial for your partner, but it also helps you. Saying what you’re thankful for allows you to notice all the good things about your relationship. It puts the negative aspects of the relationship into perspective as well," is the advice from Tamara Sanon.
10. You are willing to learn and grow with your partner.
Finally, Janelle Anderson says, "We each need the freedom to grow in the manner we were meant to grow and bear our unique fruit. Acceptance waters the garden of your relationships, allowing these partnerships to fully grow."
There you have it! This is what you need to become a “we” instead of a “me,” which will lead you towards finding a loving marriage partner.
Amy Schoen is a D.C.-based national dating and relationship coaching expert who's helped countless couples find love.