Tune into weekly segments of Dateline, 20/20 or 48 Hours, and you'll quickly discover that an overwhelming number of crimes committed daily are enacted by people without criminal records. Even worse, these bliss-busting sleeper cells shock their loved ones from inside the most appealing neighborhoods, communities, and marriages across America.
From highly orchestrated ponzi schemes to deceitful dual marriages, ID channel even created a revealing docu-series, Who The Bleep Did I Marry?, where the victims of revolting reversals of character could share their life-shattering tales. If there's one thing all of these shows teach us, it's that while you can judge a book by its cover, you may be mistaken about the story you'll find inside. Advice For Lindsay Lohan: 5 Steps To A Drama-Free Life
With so many picture perfect professionals jumping the moral fence, you might just wonder if you're better off dating the man with the ding on his record. It certainly worked for Phaedra Parks from Real Housewives of Atlanta. One glance at her husband Apollo reveals a sweet, humble, loving man who's learned his lesson and is better for it. Even more, he's impassioned about using his experience to deter other youth — and that's what I call a fine forward fumble. So, if the man you're interested in has a criminal past, despair not.
Just be sure you don't look for assurance in the wrong places. One of the biggest mistakes we make when considering anyone's past is using current behavior to determine whether that person has changed. People don't really change. It's their perspectives followed by the driving forces behind their choices and actions that change or stay the same. This is a critical distinction to make. Help! I Have A Boring Sex Life
Typically, when someone engages in criminal activity, it's because some desire, belief, or rule they possess is overriding the one that would make them refrain from doing what they did. The key for us is to shift our own perspectives and recognize that every single one of us is a product of what drives us to do what we do.
We've all learned some tough lessons without necessarily taking the high road. Therefore what separates us most is how we ultimately choose to integrate our experiences and shift our perspectives, aka recycling your experiences. A person can easily change their outward behavior.
More dating advice from YourTango: