“I knew it the minute I met him.” Claire Huxtable, married 35 years.
“I knew I would marry her after the first date.” Al Bundy, married 40 years.
Chemistry is a killer. Let’s face it, the minute your lips lock...the super glue holding you together is cemented into place and you are hooked. This always happens. Your body makes sure you don’t miss each other.
According to Psychology Today, "Each couple that engages in love at first sight believes that their passionate feelings for one another will overcome the steep odds against a whimsical union actually providing a lifetime of personal fulfillment for each partner."
Scientists can now measure the brain chemicals that collide with each other creating an addictive cocktail that controls you when sexual chemistry is ignited. Addictive? You bet. The areas of the brain that light up when cocaine hits the bloodstream are the exact same areas that light up when the chemicals of love and attraction are released.
You are addicted to love...literally.
So what’s the problem? Only a fraction of these hot and heavy relationships have any staying power. Some experts guess that 80% of ‘chemistry driven’ relationships fail in less than three months.
Do people get tired of each other? Why does the sizzle fizzle out? Once more, can you avoid the fizzlers right away so you can get on to the happily ever after kind of love? Are there signs that love is true in the first few passionate days? Is there love at first site?
Here are five signs that your new guy could be the real deal, (in spite of the chemistry:)
1. Restaurant Behavior: No, I am not talking about manners, well not eating habits anyway. A wise woman once told me, “Watch how your man treats waitresses. You will see much about his character.” Kindness and generosity to blue and Pink collar workers is a genuine trait not easy to fake.
2. Female Family Members: How does he treat his mom? Sisters? Ex? When I met my husband (my second, I met him at age 52) he still took his ex-mother-in-law for outings away from her rehab home once a month, even though he had been divorced for years. Hello. He treats me with old fashioned chivalry to this day and it is one of the things I love the best about him.