How To Give Your Lover A Massage


How To Give Your Lover A Massage

Massage is a great way to relieve tension, improve blood circulation, move energy around the body, and sexually arouse your lover! It is also a mutually satisfying way of helping couples exhibit intimacy for one another.  Ours is a culture starved for touch, and massage is a quick, easy means to feed this hunger.  “Easy?” You may be asking yourself.  Well, you don’t need to be a certified massage therapist to give a great message.  The most important component is the desire to please your lover. 

So, here are some suggestions.  For starters, set the mood for a romantic environment by dimming the lights, burning some candles and incense, playing your partner’s favorite relaxing music, and warming the room so that both of you will be comfortable.  I know pretty soon you’ll be making enough heat of your own, but it’s always best to start at a temperature in which it’s comfortable to work, especially since you should both be naked.


Pick up some scented mineral oil, massage oil, or essential oils. Powder or cream works too, if either of you objects to oil, but oil is my absolute favorite!

Begin with the Back Side

About two tablespoons of oil should be enough to start with.  Pour the oil into your hands first and then rub your hands together so that they will be nice and warm to the touch.  Then place your hands on your lover’s lower back and let your hands glide up your lovers back all the way up to the neck, around the shoulders, and all the way down and over the buttocks.

The Hand Slide

Now that you’ve got the oil on your lover’s back, begin with your hands parallel to each other and slide them down each side of the spine, massaging all the way down to the lower back and over the buttocks.  Then slide your hands up all the way to the neck, over the shoulders and down the arms to the fingertips.  Repeat this motion at least six times.  As you do this, ask your partner for feedback.  If he/she is not the talkative type, then just know that it’s better to make the massage too soft than too strong.  Remember, it’s all about giving as much pleasure as you can.


For variation, try alternating one hand after the other as you pull up and stroke the sides of your partner’s body.  Start by placing both of your hands over one of your lovers hips and then gently pull up towards the spine.  Then move your hands to the waist and pull up towards the spine.  Then move your hands to the side of the chest or breast and pull up towards the spine. Then put your hands just under the armpits and pull up towards the spine.  Don’t forget to do both sides.

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Ava Cadell


Live to Love ~Dr. Ava Cadell

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Location: West Hollywood, CA
Credentials: EdD, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Sex Therapy
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