10 Red Flags To Look Out For When Traveling As A Couple

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Couple arguing on the beach
Don't let these common couples differences derail your next vacation.

Travel with a sweetheart always sounds rosy and romantic but the truth is, trading in your king bed at home for a hotel queen, picking where to dine and deciding who is getting up with a morning hangover to help the kids, can all wreak havoc on your idyllic getaway. What to Know Before Traveling with a New Beau

Below are the most common red flags to watch out for when traveling together:

 

1. Operating on different time zones. Everyone has a different internal clock. On vacation, it's important to match up activities with times when you have the stamina to do them. Ask yourself: Which time of day is each of your high focus times? Do you thrive before noon? Does he need an afternoon nap? Do you like to sleep late and party till dawn? Does he turn into a pumpkin at midnight? Talk about what will be the most refreshing for you both and plan ahead so you both get what you need.

2. Disagreeing on what to eat. How many times will you have fine dining? Will you picnic? What is your ideal? His? Plan for specific things and leave the rest to the natural unfolding of the vacation. Sharing your expectations will make adjusting easier on the trip.

3. Shopping. Opposite shopping styles can be frustrating to all. If you are a browser and he is a buyer, it is definitely a problem. Minimize the amount of time that you spend doing incongruous activities; while it's good to be together, if your browsing makes him grumpy, perhaps you can speed things up and take an afternoon alone to really "get your browse on" while he does something more to his liking.

4. You want wine; he wants coffee. What do you expect in terms of drinking and other indulgent behaviors? If your idea of a trip is wine with dinner and his is a cocktail poolside at noon, you could have a problem. When it comes to a vacation, you want to try and be on the same page related to indulgences and knowing ahead of time what his expectations are will help you to manage yours.

5. Mood swings. Irritability in even the most loving couples can run high when traveling, due to extra stress and confined areas—car, train, stateroom or plane. Arrange for some alone time every day so you can, literally, get some space. 

6. Disrupted sleep. If one of you is a snorer or you are used to sleeping separately, sleep arrangements should be thought out in advance, especially if your trip spans more than two nights. Arguments over the expense of hotel rooms are common, but remember that sleep deprivation can breed nastiness. Make sure you don't sacrifice too much nighttime comfort to save a few bucks—it will backfire ten-fold and won't be worth it. If your honey starts snapping at you due to sleep issues, be compassionate. If two separate beds and earplugs or a white noise machine won't handle the issue, book a suite if you can manage it. If children waking at night is the issue, take turns getting up with them. 5 Tips For Better Sleep and Sex

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Catherine Behan

Dating Coach

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Dr. Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.

Psychologist

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Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (Dr. Shosh) specializes in moods during pregnancy and postpartum. She works through phone and other technologies with women and their partners worldwide.

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Location: Bodega Bay, CA
Credentials: PhD
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