Man Refuses To Celebrate His Non-Speaking 17-Year-Old Stepson's 'First Words' & Tells His Wife The Celebration Is 'Unusual'
He's being called "selfish" for downplaying his stepson's achievement.
A father is being criticized after revealing that he refused to celebrate a milestone in his stepson's life.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — he explained that his wife wanted to celebrate her son, Nick, and a recent achievement he made.
Instead of agreeing to join the celebration, he threw a fit and is now being called "selfish" for it.
He refused to celebrate his non-speaking 17-year-old stepson's 'first words' and told his wife it was an 'unusual' thing to honor.
In his Reddit post, the man wrote that he and his wife, Fran, have been married for four years and share a daughter, 3.
From a previous relationship, Fran has a teenage son, Nick, who is on the autism spectrum and has been non-speaking for most of his life.
"He has always been great at communicating effectively with Fran, and he’s doing better every day," he shared.
His stepson will occasionally use both his phone and an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) device to communicate with his mother and stepfather but is still considered non-speaking as he has trouble verbalizing things.
However, Nick recently said his first fully-formed words and "mumbled something along the lines of 'I love you.'"
His mother was ecstatic about it and immediately wanted to go out and celebrate Nick's milestone by going out for a fancy dinner with her sister, mother, Nick, and him.
"It was a Friday night, and honestly, I didn’t feel like going out and I wasn't in the mood to celebrate, but I said, 'Okay, sure, let’s go,' to please my wife," he continued.
His wife instantly picked up on his bad mood and began teasing him about why he was being so "grumpy" all of a sudden.
He decided to tease her back, telling her that they didn't celebrate their daughter's first words, so it doesn't make any sense why they are celebrating Nick's.
A huge argument ensued between them after that comment, and he ultimately decided he wasn't going to celebrate his stepson's achievement and stayed home while everyone else went out.
"My wife was visibly upset, and the fight escalated on both sides. I pointed out who paid half of Nick’s expenses, and she pointed out that she raised him by herself for more than a decade."
He acknowledged that while he didn't say the celebration was "stupid or unnecessary," he argued that it "was unusual and not a traditional thing people celebrate."
Most Reddit users agreed that he was in the wrong to dismiss his stepson's occasion.
"Your wife waited seventeen years to hear her child say he loves her. She probably thought it would never happen and it IS worth celebrating," one user wrote.
"Seeing how joyful it made your wife should have been enough for you to want to celebrate it, too."
Another user added, "you didn’t want to go out on a Friday night so [you] acted grumpy. You don’t seem very mature. Apologize to your wife."
"You’re in a lovely marriage with a loving wife who wants to celebrate a special moment with you. Life is about celebrating the big moments and the small moments," a third user pointed out.
"Maybe it was small to you, but it was big to her. You belittled her with your attitude and words. Her teasing was not kind, but water seeks its own level."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.