7 Unromantic Things Guys Do That TURN Women Off Instantly
Take notes, guys... PLEASE.
pixabay No woman wants to be the Debbie Downer of the relationship, but there are times when as much as you love your man, the relationship lacks in fulfillment that no chocolate truffle or floral bouquet can fix it.
You appreciate that he takes care of the kids or does chores. You respect that he always answers the phone when you call.
It's great that he's making an effort to go out of his way to let you know he loves you. It's not that these things aren't enough, it's just that after a while of being together, a little "spark" helps make things return to that magical feeling you once had.
Love shouldn't be complicated ... so, why does romance become such a tangled mess of mixed communication and sexual signal crossings?
Romance and intimacy are the building blocks to sex for women.
But when it comes to intimacy, it's the forethought that a man puts into his approach to sex that makes the moment special.
So, when he does make an effort, but the effort was forced, predictable, unsexy, or worse, cliché, it can feel like you are part of an item on his "honey-do" list rather than a real effort to connect with you on a physical or emotional level.
It doesn't help that you are well aware that you're fortunate enough to love a real man that really does try.
In fact, when you share your longing for more romance with girlfriends who are regrettably single and those with unaffectionate, inattentive lovers, they'll tell you how you ought to be thankful to have someone who makes an effort.
"You have no right to complain," they say. "You might even lose him if you don't stop!"
But inside, you know what your heart wants and needs — no, deserves. Your heart wants to feel cherished and intimately loved, which means that you want to feel like your man is still passionately in love with you. Sometimes, this means he's going to have to do things a little differently and switch up his normal routine. Pizza might be a delicious meal, but no one wants to eat it every night.
And when you tell him his affection comes across as more physical and boring rather than romantic, and he doesn't try to change it up to fit your needs, that can be a definite intimacy killer.
If this seems all too familiar, what you are about to hear from other women might alleviate some of your guilt.
Nearly 88 percent of women shared that they have discussed the disconnect between what their man does that he thinks is romantic and how it makes them feel.
A whopping 50 percent said that the things that men do that turn them off are potential intimacy killers!
And 25 percent said that the things their man does that are unromantic were not only turn-offs in the moment but a total intimacy killer in the relationship, too.
We asked women what their significant other did that was unromantic and what guys do to turn off women. Here are the top 7 things women say men do that are intimacy killers (but their men believed were totally romantic):
- "I hate it when guys think that grabbing your boobs means that it's time for sex. Women want to be wooed... we want to be turned on, not just felt up."
"Asking "Do you want to do it?" as a question instead of being more forceful."
"He has a habit of putting his head on my chest. Not so much a big deal, but he had a beard that is quite prickly and it can get uncomfortable."
"His foot fetish."
"Touches my breast first without kisses or caresses on less sensitive areas.
"Being overly affectionate and forceful when trying to initiate sex."
- "Gaslights me."
But men can't take all the blame for the confusion. It seems that women might have appreciated certain types of affection more during the dating phase, and less so once the relationship got serious.
Some of the things that seemed "cute" or romantic during the early stages stopped being effective later on — but their men apparently never got the memo!
We asked our readers, "What did you think was romantic while dating but now that you're an actual couple, it's no longer romantic?
"Holding hands."
"Lots of affection."
"Making love in the middle of the night. (Kids change sleep priorities!)"
"Affection, but now I value companionship."
If you're curious to know what women thought was romantic while dating but didn't involve affection, 50 percent stated: Cooking dinner together.
Big, elaborate meals may have been romantic early on, but now it seems that they're just as satisfied with pizza — as long as the emotional setting is right!