How Long People REALLY Wait To Have Sex With Each Other, Says New Study

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how long to wait before having sex
Buzz, Sex

How long should you wait?

"Don’t give it up on the first date." That’s what we’re usually told. We won’t be taken seriously, they say. It will ruin the chance to have a relationship, the rumors go.

But what if we want to have sex on the first date? What if we envision a relationship with that person but still want to jump their bones the second we are alone with them? Is waiting the best option? Is there a guide on how long to wait before having sex?

The advice to wait to sleep with someone may be kind of antiquated. Now, with Tinder and the rise of singles, the dating and sex rules have changed.

According to a study done by the Pew Research Center, only 38 percent of American adults thought that premarital sex was wrong in 2007. And now, ten years after the study, it’s likely that the number is even higher.

Interested to know what causes couples to jump into bed together and at what point in their relationship it happens, I spoke to women (and some men) in long-term relationships to see how quickly they had sex with their partners. This is what they had to say:

1. Alison: Waited 1 year

Been in a relationship for 7 1/2 years. First had sex about a year before they started dating.

"We were at university and we were 'friends with benefits' for some time before making it official. We were part of the same friend group so we kept it secret for as long as we could. I think it meant we were already comfortable when we started going out. We knew each other well and were really sure we wanted to be together, so there were no awkward conversations about expectations at that point. We were best friends who liked having sex with each other  and we still are!"

2. Shelly: Waited 3 months

Been in a relationship for 4 years. First had sex three months after meeting her man.

"It's not so much the days, weeks, or months that are worth counting — it's more about the hours (if we have to quantify). We spent every single day of those three months together. We went grocery shopping together, watched TV, cleaned our apartments, went on day trips. I got to see how he interacted with his own friends and family (and vice versa). We invested in learning about each other and where we came from. He became my best friend first. I think it's important for both parties to fall in love with each other's minds and personalities before the 'home run.' It's easy to fall in lust when sex is involved, but love is for the soul and the soul takes time to show itself."

3. Jennifer: Waited a few days

Been in a relationship for 22 years. Had sex after a few days.

"If I remember correctly after a few days I slept over but told him no sex. I then slept with him the next morning. When I met him I just had this feeling he was the one. We've been together so long I don't think it affected our relationship in a negative way. I do have to say, prior to him I had vowed I was going to make the next guy wait and develop a relationship a bit before sex... then I met my future husband and the rest is history. I also have to say I was in college at the time and met him when I was 21 if there's ever a time to see wild oats it's then."

4. Chris: Waited 1 week

Been in a relationship for 6 1/2 years. Had sex on the second date, about a week after first meeting offline.

"When you're dating in your 30s and you're not religious, you've had sex with other people. It's a natural part of life that you've (hopefully) gotten over any hangups."

5. Jannell: Waited 1 week

Been in a relationship for 8 years. They were friends for over a year, but after realizing that they wanted more, they waited to have sex for about one week.

"I think the amount of time you wait does affect your relationship because it will either consciously or subconsciously make your partner form temporary opinions. I've generally always wished that I'd waited longer because not doing so allows others so get a glimpse of how you carry yourself in life, be it positive or negative. I can be an impulsive person and live for excitement in every moment of my life, but once that excitement wears off, I can easily grow bored. On the contrary, someone who waits to have sex and is able to put their desires at bay might be considered as someone who's mind is very disciplined or has a lot of patience."

6. Dennis: Waited 6 months

Been in a relationship for four years. Waited 6 months to have sex.

"I think it helped we got to know each other and took things slow. Now we are engaged and have a super-cute baby, so I say it all went well."

7. Victoria: Waited 7 months

Been in a relationship for 5 years. Waited to have sex for 7 months into knowing each other and 1 month into dating.

"I feel like it added to the build up and anticipation. I felt like we had a better connection with each other and trusted each other, at least I trusted him way more. I think when we took that next step it meant more."

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly thirteen years now, and we waited 7 months. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong, but I say go with your gut. Looking at what these ladies had to say, it doesn't really seem like it matters. 

 

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