Sometimes all it takes is a small action to feel better.
Sadness is part of the deal of being human. We all feel it from time to time even if we do whatever we can to avoid it. Sh*t is going to happen and it’s going to affect the way we feel and the actions we take.
You can be sad when you’re depressed, but sadness doesn’t mean that you’re suffering from depression. Depression is an illness and needs the attention of a health care professional. Most times, we can deal with being sad in our own ways—sometimes in highly unusual ways. It can be extra challenging when the reason for your sadness is a painful breakup and the need to make peace for yourself that someone who was important to you is no longer in your life.
There’s also a difference between being sad and being unhappy. You’re not happy when you’re unhappy, but you’re not necessarily sad. Sometimes when you’re unhappy, you don’t feel much of anything, just the absence of joy. You can be devastated by a breakup or okay with a lingering sadness but you still have to process the fact that your ex is no longer in your life.
When we’re sad, we feel miserable, dejected, hurt, and full of sorrow. We can express our sadness in many ways but primarily, we cry, we sob, and if we can, we rage and let it all out. Some people may express their sadness in physical ways like punching a wall or throwing something and others may express their unhappiness is bizarre, hard-to-understand ways.
There’s a reason that people say that they’re feeling blue when they feel sad because sadness is an emotion that colors the way we see the world. It darkens it and highlights the negative things and places.
Sometimes the ending of a relationship makes you bluer than blue, it makes you feel covered in darkness.
While it’s a good idea to feel your sadness and express it, there are also ways of dealing with what you’re feeling. No one wants to feel sad all the time, so we come up with coping mechanisms or ways that help us to feel better. You may have your own way to get over someone and some of those ways may be very distinct to you. No one loves in the same exact way nor does one recover from a broken heart the same way.
Sometimes it can be the simplest things that do us the most good, and other times we have to make a huge effort. But it doesn’t matter if you do something that helps jumpstart you into feeling happier and able to move on.
Here’s what you do when you want to get over someone based on your zodiac sign.
When you're feeling blue, you get out and exercise. In fact, you try to exercise at least three times a week. You know that when you exercise it releases your brain's endorphins and that it can make you feel much better. Bonus, you'll be in such great shape that you'll feel more confident about dating and trying to find someone new.
If you're feeling like a broken-hearted loser, you like to do something for someone else. Baking cookies is an excellent choice because just smelling the scent of freshly baked cookies will make you feel better, and giving them to someone else will not only brighten their day, it will brighten yours. And your ex always loved your baking, so you can get some small satisfaction in knowing that they're missing out.
You know how important it is for you to connect with people, especially when you're feeling lonely so even if you're not feeling social, you force yourself to get off the couch and go meet a friend for a coffee or tea. Probably not a good idea to have alcohol when you're feeling sad because it tends to depress you. A coffee shop lets you be around people and isn't so loud that you can't have a real conversation. Just don't go to the place you used to go to with them, at least not right away.
When the sadness of heartbreak threatens to overwhelm you, the first thing that you need to do is to practice self-care. Try to be as good to yourself as you possibly can and, for you, that means staying home and relaxing. You might light candles for some aromatherapy, take a bath, or even read a book — whatever you can do to elevate your mood that nurtures you, instead of harms you. Learn how to do things just for you without having to take anyone else into consideration. If you want to stay in the bath until the water turns cold and you look like a prune, go for it.
While the temptation is to go to others to help you feel better about being dumped, you should depend on yourself to feel better—make a YOU book that includes things that you've accomplished, things you love, compliments to yourself, art, stickers, funny memes — anything that's going to put a smile on your face. You don't have to show it to anyone but whenever you feel down, take it out and read it. Also, feel free to add to it whenever the mood strikes you. Your EX must be stupid AF to have let you go.
One of the best things for you to do when you're trying to get over someone is to go out into nature. When you see the beauty of the forest or the ocean, it will put your problems into perspective. The clean air and gorgeous scenery will help you to physically and emotionally feel better. There's nothing like a field full of multi-colored wildflowers to increase your happiness. If you focus on the beauty and not your feelings of sadness or frustration that things didn't work out, Mother Nature will provide all the comfort you need.
When you're feeling lonely and a little hopeless, dance therapy is just what you need. After you make sure that you're alone, crank up the music and get to dancing. The more you let yourself go, no matter how dorky you may look, the better. Hey, if you're completely alone, don't restrict yourself to just one room — dance everywhere! Who hasn't wanted to do the robot in their underwear?
When you're trying to get over someone, the last thing you want to do is to completely indulge yourself in your sadness, and you especially don't want to fixate on what you think you did wrong or why they didn't love you enough. You know to replace your negative thoughts with more neutral ones. You don't have to make a complete 360, but gradually happier thoughts will take the place of sad ones. The more you do this, even when you're not sad, the better you'll feel overall. Don't let thoughts of them harsh your buzz.
To fill the void that your ex has left in your heart, you need to do something spiritual. You can visit a new church or do something that's less about organized religion and more about your own spirituality like meditation, yoga, praying or visiting a psychic — anything that puts you in touch with your inner self and gives you comfort. You know what? It doesn't matter if other people think it's weird if it helps you feel better than do it.
Now that you have all that extra time that being with your ex used to fill, include some creative time in your daily routine. You need that sense of security that a plan gives you, but you also need to incorporate something that doesn't have to do with work, like a pet break, playing with your kids, a nap or watching some hilarious cat videos.
Because you do so much for the world and other people, the best thing to do is get a little pampering. You get permission to do something frivolous for a change. You'd be surprised at how just getting a mani-pedi or your hair done can lift your mood. If you don't want to spend too much money and still give back, go to a beauty school for the new cut or facial; it will be less expensive and not only are the students eager to please, they're well supervised. See how cool you are, you're paying it forward even when you're doing something for yourself. You don't need them to point out how awesome you are!
When you're trying to get over someone, channel that feeling into your art. When you engage your mind and hands in making things from a creative place, you're stimulating that part of your brain that loves to play and releases chemicals that make your brain feel good. When your brain is feeling happy, then you're feeling happy, and whenever you look at the piece of art you created or hear the song you wrote, you'll feel happy again. If making a cartoon about how much your ex sucked, is the most creative thing you can think of, that's okay too. You can always have the cathartic experience of ripping it into pieces when you're finished.