9 Things To NEVER Say When Your Friend Tells You She's Bisexual

Photo: WeHeartIt
Sex

Girl, no.

When a friend decides to come out to you as being bisexual, it's a real testimony to how they feel about you.

Although the world is WAY more understanding and open nowadays than it once was about being a member of the LGBT community, it's still a scary thing to reveal to even your best friends.

So if someone has decided to come out to you, congratulations! 

You're probably a pretty awesome person.

Even though we've just established that you rock, in moments of surprise people can open their mouths and say things that they don't mean, hurting their friend in the process.

To be the best friend you can be to your friend who comes out as bisexual, there are some things you should seriously avoid saying. 

I've collected them here to keep you from looking like a total dick. 

 

1. "Oh, so you're probably a lesbian, right?"

Giphy

Contrary to popular opinion, being bisexual does not mean you are just one foot down the road to Lesbian-ville, USA. 

Being bisexual is a totally valid sexual orientation. 

It's NOT a halfway step towards being "fully" gay. 

 

2. "It's probably just a phase."

Giphy

How we relate to our sexuality can change over time.

But to tell someone else that their sexual orientation is just something they're going through is BEYOND a dick move.

It basically guarantees a gin and tonic in the face. 

You don't tell them that being heterosexual is a phase? I hope not. 

So they shouldn't be so rude to you, either. 

 

3. "Ew, I've changed clothes around you!"

Giphy

Being bisexual doesn't mean we are attracted to ALL women. 

Similarly, being straight doesn't mean a woman is attracted to all men, right? 

I mean, duh.

So check that attitude, girlfriend, and don't be all weird around us.

Odds are we haven't been secretly scoping your nips for years, mkay?

 

4. "But you like guys more, right?"

Giphy

Nope. 

Being bisexual means that when it comes to sexual attraction we are not restricted by gender. 

You can be a bisexual woman and only have ever dated men, but that doesn't mean you find men "more" attractive.

There's a ton we don't know about what it means to be queer, so who knows how this all really works. 

But for a lot of bisexuals, there isn't one "preferred" gender. 

 

5."Wanna have a threesome?"

Giphy

Someone sharing their sexual orientation with you is NOT an invitation to the pants party, so settle. 

Being bisexual doesn't make anyone your instant unicorn, friends. 

I mean, unless they're into it. In which case, CONGRATS! 

But in general, just like we said about not being attracted to ALL women, being bi does not mean we want to be involved in ALL threesomes

Or even any threesomes. Not everyone is into threesomes, so chill.

 

6. "You don't LOOK bisexual though!" 

Giphy

Oh my god please no never say this. 

I'm cringing just thinking about it, seriously, it's making my butthole pucker. 

There is no one way gay, straight, or bisexual people "look".

We all just look like people. 

 

7. "You must love strap-ons!"

Giphy

I don't know why people think it's cool to ask lesbians or bisexual people questions about how they have sex.

Do I ask you and your husband how much you love doing it missionary style before the kids wake up?

No. BECAUSE THAT IS SUPER RUDE, GUYS. 

Maybe I like strap-ons, maybe I don't. 

Do you like strap-ons? Because, you know straight women sometimes wear them too, you know. 

The more you know!

 

8. "Who turned you?"

Giphy

You might not realize it, but assuming that in order to figure out my sexuality I had to get "turned" by someone, promotes some really negative stereotypes of lesbians and bisexuals. 

There was no sinister woman in the wings waiting to debauch me, guys.

I figured it out myself. 

But really, yeah, it was watching The L Word as a youngster. 

 

9. "You're going to hell."

Giphy

Please don't oversimplify the nature of good and evil.

Please don't embarrass your own faith.

Please don't assume that I even BELIEVE in hell.

Also, even if you believe that down deep in your bones, telling someone they're going to hell pretty much ruins a dinner party. 

Just sayin'. 

 

Expert advice

If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
Several key behaviors stand out in order to help couples create a healthy relationship.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

Explore YourTango