Desperation is NOT a good look on you.
Back when I was in high school and college, I wasn’t popular. I was, however, desperately lonely and unsure how to make myself appear cool by other people’s standards.
When you’re desperate, you have a tendency to overkill your attempts at connecting with people. More often than not, you end up being your own worst enemy when it comes to being single because of it.
Not sure if your desperation is showing? If you’re doing any of these things, chances are that you’re trying too hard to be liked... and potentially making people avoid you.
1. You regularly advertise on social media that you are alone, single, and free to hang out.
Noooo! Don’t be that person! I’ve been that person and I can tell you that it doesn’t work. That “single and free” advertisement basically translates into “I’m alone and pathetic” in modern lingo. No one wants to be around a person who comes off that desperate for human interaction.
2. People have told you that you try too hard or that you’re scaring people away by being so forceful with them.
Do you have a solid rep for “coming on too strong”? Well, this is the euphemism people use when they want to say that you’re going way too hard with your efforts to make friends.
3. You’ve lied about what you like just to spark up a conversation with someone.
The problem with this isn’t just the fact that you’re lying. It’s the fact that most people can pick up on the fact that you don’t really know what you’re talking about. Instead of lying, ask them what they’re doing and tell them you want to learn.
4. You’ve flipped out at a date because they ended things early, refused to commit, or canceled on you.
Please, for the love of God, do not be this girl. This is the female equivalent of a Nice Guy. Trust me, I’ve been there and I’ve flipped out at people. It only makes YOU look crazy, even if you have every reason in the world to want to break his face. Sad as it is to say, it’s better to walk away than it is to turn into someone who looks that unstable.
5. It takes you about 3 hours to get prepped to go on a date.
One thing that may seem counterintuitive to most is the fact that the vast majority of men don’t want someone who looks more plastic than real. And if you’re too dolled up, guys will think you’re trying too hard.
6. Your Instagram and Pinterest is full of photos of you clearly trying to make your life look better than it really is.
You know the kind of photos I’m talking about. The ones that basically scream “LOOK AT HOW HAPPY I AM! I AM SO HAPPY! I AM SO HAPPY AND HAPPINESS IS ME!” Yes, we see through it all. We, of course, meaning everyone.
7. You sneer at other people, put them down, and deride them because you feel like you deserve a man more than they do.
Dude, this is not cool. This is exactly what you should never do. Women already have a hard enough time dealing with all the pressures society imposes on us. We should not be making life harder on one another. Moreover, acting this way just makes you look desperate to men and makes you lose out on good female friends. Stop it!
8. You’ve said, “I can’t believe she has a husband and I don’t,” then quickly detailed why you’re better than her.
Look, I’ve been there. I don’t personally understand why guys usually pick total train wrecks over me, either. But vocalizing it is not helping you and it might show that you’re trying way too hard to get guys’ attention.
9. You’ve tried to bribe your way into a person’s heart.
This happens when you find yourself paying his bills, buying him dinner, and showering him with gifts... even though he told you he doesn’t see you as “long-term” material.
10. You put up with a lot more than you should, and you’re aware of it.
You keep thinking that, maybe, if you just bend a little more, he’ll realize your worth, right? Wrong. Guys will treat you exactly as you let them treat you. Don’t put up with his bullsh*t.
11. You’ve literally begged men to date you or guilted people to hang out with you.
I’ve been there, too. Trust me when I say nothing good comes of it. The only thing you do by begging others to be around you is turn them off to you, which sucks because you don’t know how to make things better. And no one likes a pity party.
12. You feel like you need to brag about your life, your quirks, or yourself in order to get people to like you.
Most of the time, people who try too hard will brag about every little thing they do or own to get others’ attention. All that bragging does is make you look arrogant at best, and desperate for attention at worst.
13. You’ve been known to pull crazy stunts just to get attention from someone you want to have like you.
Trust me when I say that I’ve been there too and that it never ends well. If anything, it will usually result in police being called, a stay at the ER, or a lot of drama.
14. People have told you that they are getting creeped out by you.
“Creep” vibes often start happening when people don’t take no for an answer, even though signals are clearly telling them “no.” If you’re being told you’re getting creepy on people, that’s a sign that you’re trying too hard and that you’re not respectful of boundaries.
15. You’re always saying yes, even when you should say no.
This is a sign that you’re trying way too hard to be liked to the point that you refuse to let your own boundaries show. Not a good look and not a healthy way to live, girl.