7 Tiny Signs You’re Not Weird — You’re Just A Lone Wolf

Alone at work, despite people being around. Living alone, but you don’t have to. Traveling alone, yet content. You’re not weird, my friend; you’re a lone wolf. I spent much of my high school years trying to understand why I didn’t fit in with the crowd. When the guys were chilling with the girls in the hallway, I’d go to the library or some crap. I didn’t even like reading back then — I just didn’t wanna hang around too many people. A lady I was speaking to a few years ago put it best, “Kurtis, you’re a popular loner.” I knew a lot of people but chose to stick by myself. Does this sound familiar to you? If it does, you may be a lone wolf.

Here are 7 signs that indicate you may be a lone wolf:

1. You prefer solitude

Do you prefer to stay alone because you enjoy your own company? Maybe it's because social interactions drain you. Either way, you may be a lone wolf. It’s not that you dislike people or you’re shy or anti-social… You just find peace and contentment in your presence.

Solitude is satisfying and comfortable. When I was in a cult, members always used to question whether I was upset or if something was wrong because I’d always slip out of the group to chill by myself — even when I was in leadership. After a while, they all came to terms and just let me be. Lone wolves value their independence above all else.

When they’re under someone else’s rule, they feel suffocated. This explains why Steve Jobs was the way he was. In the book Kid Innovators, Robin Stevenson described Jobs as a creative, rebellious child who grew up to change the world with the iPhone. He was rebellious because lone wolves love being in situations where they’re in control. They wanna control their time and their space. Solitude awards them this freedom.

2. You don’t conform to social norms

Steve Jobs’ case isn’t an isolated one. Lone wolves are often described as rebellious. The reason why is they don’t cave into social norms or what the crowd is doing. Take Muhammad Ali as an example. In 1966, he denounced his birth name, Cassius Clay, as a slave name. He also refused to be drafted into the military, despite several celebrities going. One of his reasons was due to his religious beliefs.

Another reason was because he opposed the Vietnam War — he thought it was unethical. This resulted in him being found guilty of draft evasion and stripped of his boxing titles. But it also made him an icon for the larger counterculture of the '60s. When the civil rights movement became popular (and throughout the remainder of his life), Ali was regarded as a high-profile figure of racial pride for African-American people.

Lone wolves acknowledge that we all have our minds, and they must be used to reach sound conclusions for ourselves. They love their ability to think independently, which is the opposite of conforming to social norms.

3. You’re self-reliant

Think of the literal meaning of a lone wolf. It’s when a wolf leaves its natal pack or the one it was born into. Note they choose to move away — they’re not forced. Since they choose to sacrifice their social support, they take it upon themselves to provide and meet their needs. For example, Bruce Lee was a natural-born US citizen, but his fame as a movie star came from Hong Kong, not Hollywood.

It’s unclear why Bruce Lee didn’t get much opportunity in Hollywood, but it’s often regarded that he was taken for granted by the people there, so he left for Hong Kong—this explains why most of his films were produced there. His most famous film, "Enter the Dragon," was produced by a company called Concord Production Inc. in Hong Kong.

Bruce Lee founded this company himself. When Hollywood played with him, he left for Hong Kong, started his own production company, and became a massive movie star. Lone wolves don’t rely on others. They value their ability to stand on their own two feet and are willing to put themselves through hell to make it happen.

4. You’re extremely picky with your relationships

Lone wolves aren’t necessarily loners — they have friends. They’re just extremely selective about who they let around them. A massive social circle doesn’t make sense in their eyes. They prefer strong bonds over superficiality. In other words, they believe relationships are better when they consist of a handful of people who are extremely close and trust one another.

Keanu Reeves is the first person that comes to mind when I think of someone extremely selective with relationships. It’s well known his best friend, River Phoenix, died in 1993, and he’s had a lifelong friendship with "Wayne's World" co-star Alex Winter, but you don’t hear much else about him.

Most actors who make hits as big as “The Matrix” or “John Wick” often use their fame to make many celebrity friendships, and they plaster them anywhere they can. Not Keanu Reeves. That’s not to say he doesn’t have celebrity friends, but the ones he keeps close to are genuine. Lone wolves don’t like to pretend. They want depth and connection from friendships, not likes and clout.

5. You like to avoid large crowds and gatherings

You’re not shy or an introvert, and you’re not an extrovert. You just feel uncomfortable in crowds or large gatherings. This is a common trait among lone wolves because lone wolves love control. Anything can happen in a group setting or large gathering, which means you’re not in control of your surroundings. This causes unease and results in lone wolves minimizing their social interactions.

6. You’re heavy on introspection or self-awareness

All that time lone wolves spend alone enables them to think. This is why they regularly engage in introspection. They love exploring their thoughts and emotions because they wanna know things like why they are the way they are and why others do what they do.

It’s all about deepening their understanding of the world around them. With a better perspective, they can adjust their actions accordingly to align with where they wanna go in the future. Many often use this point to illustrate why lone wolves excel at creative roles such as writing, art, and music… They say the lone wolf’s willingness to take risks, deviate from the well-trodden path, and spend hours on end in deep thought leads to groundbreaking innovations that move society forward.

7. You have a strong work ethic

Like I said earlier, lone wolves don’t have anyone to count on. (Well, at least that's what they think.) This mindset pushes them to work extremely hard for themselves. They believe the best form of survival is fixating their mind on something they wanna accomplish and dialing in their focus. Their goals get a lion’s share of their resources. As much as it's about having a strong work ethic, the motivation is usually their desire for control. They wanna be able to do whatever they want when they want.