These 18 Funny Christmas Quotes Will Brighten ANY Grinch's Day


Hey Grinch... we see you.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that Christmas time kind of sucks. OK, Ok, I know I sound like The Grinch and all, but hear me out.

Now that I know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, (thanks a lot, my 10 year-old, nosy, detective self), that all of those Christmas cookies WILL go right to my butt and that buying gifts equals credit card debt, I’m just not that thrilled when December rolls around.

Christmas used to be a magical time for me filled with family, school parties, ALL OF THE CANDY and presents that people gave without expecting something in return. It was AWESOME.

I’m probably not alone on this one when saying that Christmas time nowadays is stressful and irritating. So, what am I proposing you do about it? Well ... nothing, really. ( I never claimed to have all the answers guys.)


What I CAN offer, though, are some pretty hilarious, kind of sassy Christmas quotes that can help you lighten the mood this year.

When your mom is hounding you about what you’re bringing to Christmas dinner, or when the staff at the stores you shop at are being less than jolly, hit them with one of these funny holiday quotes.

If you find the light-up sweaters and antler headbands to be an appalling display of Christmas cheer, get one of these hilarious quotes printed on a t-shirt and rep. the holiday in your own way. Plus, the funny Christmas sayings could help you with gift ideas as you could get them printed on mugs, stockings or underwear — because we all know we're not alone in this grinchy-spirit.


Also, if you want to make your Christmas cards a little more memorable this year, adding one of these sassy Christmas quotes could do the trick.

So, when you find yourself sobbing into a cup of hot cocoa and wanting to punch every Santa that even looks in your direction, just read one of these funny quotes and remember that it will all be over soon; until next year. 


If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotesinspirational sayings, and hilarious friendship truths, we've got you covered.

Photo: Dump a Day

Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It's like "What do you want this year?" IDK. Financial security? A career? A sense of purpose? A nap would be nice.

Photo: Tumblr

Always jingle all the way. No one likes a half-assed jingler.

Photo: Love This Pic

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Photo: Pinterest

When what to my wondering eyes should appear... but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs and rear

Photo:  Don't get your tinsel in a tangle. 

Don't get your tinsel in a tangle.

Photo:  The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 

The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Last year I asked for the sexiest person ever for Christmas. I woke up in a box.

Photo: Godfather Style

Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty this year ... and it was SO worth it.

Photo: Godfather Style

Dear Santa,
[ ] I've been good this year
[ ] OK, most of the time
[ ] Once in a while
[X] OK fine. I'll go buy my own presents.

Photo: Godfather Style

Dear Santa, when you get here, could you please throw a quick load in the washer, vacuum the carpets and wash your cookie plate? Thanks.

Santa saw your Instagram pictures. You're getting clothes and a bible for Christmas.

Photo: Dump a Day

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if it runs out I'll drink the red.

Photo: Cartoon District

It's all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.

Photo: Cartoon District

Let's drink mulled wine and talk shit.

On the first day of Christmas your true love gave to you ... nothing because you're single.

You know what I got for Christmas? Fat. I got fat.

Photo: Zazzle

Dear Santa, please refer to my Pinterest boards.

Photo: Dressed

Dear Santa, I was really good at being really naughty. Does that count?



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