I am not here for you.
Three days a week I like to work out at the gym.
I don't do it to lose weight, and I don't do it to "see and be seen", no matter what message you think my yoga pants are sending.
I do it for me.
Working out clears my mind, melts my stress away, and, just in general, relaxes me.
Unless it's one of those days.
If you've ever been a woman who goes to the gym, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
"Those days" are when some guy at the gym decides he wants to have sex with you, and as such, transforms your workout into an awkward, unwanted first date.
For instance, the guy wearing a mesh shirt who explained how the treadmill worked to me, after I'd been jogging for twenty minutes.
Sorry dude, I don't want to have sex with you.
Your mesh shirt is very nice, but you aren't my type and I'm not at the gym to find a date.
I'm not thinking about getting even more sweaty with you. And that's a terrible pick-up line.
This also applies to the man who tried to correct my form when I was doing sit-ups. It's cool that you felt it was totally okay to interrupt me, even though I had headphones and a scowl on, it really is.
What's not cool is that you thought mansplaining sit-ups to me would make me want to have sex with you.
Sadly, you and my boobs will never become better acquainted, because you are a turd.
And, even though he may have seemed nicer than the others (at first), this also applies to the man who tapped me on the shoulder while I was using a stationary bike. Sorry bro, but small talk isn't why I'm here.
I'm not being rude when I smile and say that I don't want to talk. I'm explaining why I'm at the gym. And it's not to be picked up.
And, if you think calling me a bitch under your breath when I reject you is going to make me decide to have sex with you right away, you have got another thing coming.
So, as a message to all the men who ogle women at the gym:
There is a time and place and for flirting, and it is not when we are wearing a sports bra and a serious expression.
If you really want to flirt, try it when we're getting a sip of water, or maybe when we're both walking out the door.
Or not at the gym at all.
Like a lot of women, I'm not always comfortable in my own skin, and it's taken me a long time to be comfortable at the gym.
It's not fair of you to immediately make us feel awkward and uncomfortable just for rejecting your advances.
The next time you are thinking about hitting on a woman you see at the gym, take a second and then stop. You look like a creep.
Because she's not there for you, she's there for herself, and there's no real way of approaching a woman exercising that won't come off as creepy, invasive, or condescending.
In closing please, please, please wipe down the machines when you are done, because also, I am not your mom.