No stripping experience necessary.
Conventional “wisdom” would suggest that stripteases are only done by women for men, those (in)famously “visual creatures.” But everybody likes to look now and then.
Turning the tables or making this a joint effort can transform the striptease from something potentially embarrassing or demeaning into the ultimate display of sexual power and confidence. One thing’s for sure: putting yourself out there like that can be a generous gift. So whether you’re straight, gay or fluid, make sure you’re giving as well as getting — hey, it’s only fair!
By the way, don’t think you need the body of a model or stripper to dance suggestively for your partner. They’ll be focused on the show, not on your so-called imperfections.
So turn down the lights, turn up the music, and take it off! (Just please don’t install a pole in your bedroom.)
1. Watch and learn.
9 1/2 Weeks, Striptease, and Magic Mike will surely inspire you. Take note of the outfits, the moves, the music, the attitude (just ignore the lame plot lines). If you need reassurance that anyone can perform a striptease successfully, be sure to check out The Full Monty.
2. Have your partner get comfortable first.
Lay them down on the bed or, better yet, sit them in a chair so you can move around them.
3. Dance to a song you’ll both enjoy
You should feel sexy moving to it, but your partner shouldn’t be thinking, “I can’t believe I’m into someone who’s still into boy bands.”
4. Make sure the lighting is flattering
You don’t want harsh overhead lights assaulting your every inch. Go dim and dark (but not so dark that neither of you can see).
5. Accessorize & layer beforehand.
The more you have to take off, the better. Wear a fedora or a silk scarf or a necktie (NOT the wool hat and scarf your grandma knit). If you’ve got long hair, put it in a loose updo that you can pull out during your finale.
6. Wear a shirt with buttons: it automatically creates 10 extra moves!
Play peek-a-boob with each side (yes, guys too). Once it’s undone, turn your back on your partner and shimmy it off your shoulders before dropping it to the floor.
Oh, and don’t wear tight pants or jeans. Because if you can look sexy while you take those off, then you can quit your day job. Instead, wear something that will come off easy that you can either step out of or kick off. Throw clothes in your partner’s direction as you remove them, just don’t hit them in the face.
7. Have some moves at the ready.
Remember that a strip is in the hips: keep them moving, ideally to the beat. Raise your arms over your head. If you don’t have any specific dance moves in your repertoire, just strut and sway as the clothes come off. Walk towards them and loop a piece of your clothing around your partner’s shoulders to pull them closer to you.
Trace a body part with your fingers — thighs, stomach, opposite arm, hips, breasts/chest, and genitals (save those for last!) — first before that area is exposed and then, if you’re feeling particularly naughty, again after it’s exposed.
8. Touch your audience.
Since this isn’t a public establishment, feel free to touch and kiss your voyeur inappropriately, too. And let them touch back. Unless that’s against your rules. Whoever’s stripping calls the shots!
9. Use your surroundings
The wall — lean your back against it and writhe, or slide down into a squat and up again (so long as you’re sure your thighs are strong enough to get you back up effortlessly). The door jam — span the gap with your arms and legs and move your hips. And a chair — straddle it backwards or sit in it sideways.
10. Maintain eye contact at all times.
If your back is turned, glance over your shoulder. If you need a break, look down coyly like, “Who me? Strip?” and then back up at your partner with an evil grin, like, “Yes me!”
Don’t forget the tease part of “striptease”: slow down!
Fancy moves are less important than simply taking your time with each layer. So make a display of each accessory you remove, pull your underwear down a few inches before dropping them, and don’t get completely naked until the very end — and even then, tease your partner with a back view (or, if they’re sitting in a chair) stand behind them, keeping their face forward), until they can’t take it anymore.
This article was originally published at Em & Lo. Reprinted with permission from the author.