Divorce can be ugly. Sometimes, really ugly.
The majority of us have witnessed a divorce where one of the partners is completely vindictive and irrational. They sling accusations and drag their spouse's name through the mud. They publicly air their marriage's dirty laundry, and sneakily petition friends and family for support as if they were trying to build protection around themselves. They relentlessly and obsessively make it their mission to enact revenge on their spouse and come out on top.
It seems as though the trauma from the divorce completely robs them of their sanity and blinds them from their sense of responsibility. They seem to be utterly consumed with making their spouse as miserable as possible and they don’t care that the divorce process drags on endlessly.
For a friend or family member of the divorcing couple, this trauma (and unnecessary drama) is uncomfortable and incredibly painful to watch. For the couple — especially the ‘sane’ one during the divorce process — the ordeal is excruciating and seemingly unending.
Just going through a divorce is painful enough and exacts a tremendous toll on both parties. Add a spouse who is funneling all that pain and fear into anger and revenge, and the suffering only gets worse.
And what if there are children caught in the middle of the battle? They can’t help but feel ripped apart, terrified, angry and completely confused; especially if they are being used as pawns in their parents’ screwed up divorce games.
Maybe this is your life right now. Are you trying to deal with a spouse who is being extremely difficult in your divorce? Your divorce proceedings shouldn't have to go on endlessly, but maybe they do because your spouse is actively wreaking havoc on your sanity.
How have you handled the confrontations? Even if you try to be the bigger person, it's easy for couples to forget that communication that doesn't hurt or anger the other person DOES exist. Wouldn’t it be a relief to have the divorce over with and have some form of normalcy in your lives again?
Our panel of YourTango Experts explores this touchy subject with great sensitivity and insight. They have some wonderful advice and perspectives that will surely be a benefit to your situation. Melanie Gorman (YourTango Expert Senior VP) is joined by divorce coaches Pegotty Cooper, Debra Block, Karen Bigman and Petalyn Albert — they specialize in divorce and divorce recovery and know exactly what you are experiencing.
After watching, are you still feeling confused and tormented about what you should do? If so, visit the websites of Pegotty, Debra, Karen and Petalyn for more information or to contact them personally.