Heads up! (Get it?)
If there's one thing we all know to be true, it's that men are obsessed with penis size.
No matter how many think-pieces light up the web explaining that size doesn't matter when it comes to sex, dudes still get out their special dick measuring tape and worry.
There's nothing we can do to stop them. "We" in this case being women.
And fair enough, dudes. We'll let you win this one. After all, we don't have penises (thank god) so who are we to try and assuage your fears (other than the vaginas some of you like to use for sex purposes)?
Every dude imagines that his penis is an averaged size one, maybe slightly larger than average, even. But until now he's had no real source to turn to for confirmation.
Luckily that ends today. Can I get a drum roll, please?
Thank you, internet.
A map released by Target Map has broken down the entire world into average penis size while erect and the results, well, simply put they are staggering.
Lists like these can be problematic because they can encourage negative racial stereotyping, and that's something it's important to keep in mind when you process this sort of data. Not only do we know that the penis does NOT make the man, but we also know that these generalizations mean nothing about an individual guy's sexual ability.
So who comes in first place for having the biggest erect penis? Why it's the countries of Western Africa including Ghana and the Congo. In these countries the average erect penis size was 16 centimeters — that's about 6.3 inches of erect penis for those of you keeping track at home.
The countries with the smallest erect penis stats? Those include India and South Korea where the average erect penis size is between 9.3 and 10.5 centimeters (3.6 and 4.1 inches) respectively.
The United States comes in a respectable third place alongside countries like Spain and France with an average erect penis size 12.9 and 14.7 centimeters (5.1 and 7.8 inches). From what I've seen that seems generous, but admittedly I am but a small sampler of American dicks.
I know I'll never look at a map the same way again. Now I'll look at some place like Argentina and just be all "penis size".
Obviously this information was gathered, organized, and mapped by dozens (if not hundreds) of people. But I can't help myself from imagining one dogged cartographer who has made it their life's work to go door to door all across the globe demanding that men drop their drawers so that they might find their penis measured and accounted for in the big book of dicks.
God, I wish the big book of dicks is a thing. Hold on, maybe it is, let me Google.
I'm back. It is not a thing, and also never, ever good "big book of dicks", just, you know, FYI.