When a guy tells you he isn't into you, LISTEN TO HIM.
It's taken my 33 years but I have finally figured out how to tell if a guy likes me.
Yep, that's what all these years of dating have taught me.
Well actually, let me revise that.
You'd think that would be pretty easy to deduce a guy.
But since we're all adults now and a dude can't push you in the mud and say you smell like butts, figuring out how to tell if a guy likes you or hates you can be a little bit trickier than it used to be.
I might not be able to read your dude's mind for you, but I can guarantee you that if a guy likes you there are seven things he'll NEVER EVER say to you.
1. "You're too available."
If a guy likes you, he'll want to see you. If you suggest drinks one night a week and he gets irked that you're encroaching on his time, he doesn't actually want to be spending time with you. I asked a guy I'd been dating for SIX MONTHS what our status was and his response was to tell me I was too available.
Translation: I liked him a whole lot more than he liked me.
2. "It's so funny how your friends think you're smart."
A guy who likes you also respects you. A person who respects you is never going to issue ridiculous barbs like this one.
If a man is threatened by your brains or your sense of humor to the extent that he'll try and use them to "neg" you, he doesn't like you, and you are so much better off.
3. "Do you have any hot friends you could set me up with?"
This is guy speak for "I am in no way attracted to you romantically, but rather than saying that out loud to you I am going to ask you to set me up with a friend to make my lack of intentions towards you crystal clear."
Girl, don't do it. If a guy you dig asks you this, roll your eyes and refuse to be his wing man.
4. "You're like my little sister."
You know who guys don't want to fuck? Their sister. I mean, unless they have deeply rooted Flowers In The Attic-type trauma based issues.
If that's the case, maybe he does like you, but oh my god you need to not date him.
5. "Let's bro out!"
You know what bros do? They go to the movies together and leave a seat between them so no one thinks they're gay. Yeah. That's how not into you he is, dude.
You don't deserve a bro, you deserve a man.
6. "How should I propose to my girlfriend?"
Ha ha ha ha, oh man. In my first year in New York I was so in love with this one guy and so sure he felt the same way that I didn't even hesitate when giving him advice about how to propose to he girlfriend. Spoiler alert: If a man is proposing to another woman, he's not into you.
Even if you think his relationship is doomed, that doesn't mean you two are meant to be. I know from what I speak.
7. "I wish I could meet a girl just like you."
This is baffling, right? Because he's saying you're his dream girl in every possible way... except he doesn't want you. That's because you're his friend. You mean a lot to him. And he's not willing to risk that for some fun in the sack.
He might like you, but that's all it is — like. Pump the breaks.