You're a boob if you don't know how to handle boobs.
If there's one thing that guys love almost as much as vagina, it's boobs. Throughout the centuries, men have praised women's breasts, played with them, sucked on them, and just ogled them. As awesome as our fun bags are for both the ones playing with them and the ones they're attached to, us breast owners really wish they had a user manual. Here's what men should know about boobs.
1. Do not bite unless we tell you to.
Women's breasts vary in sensitivity. Some of us love a little biting, while others don't. It's an entire spectrum, and that means that it's best to be careful until you actually learn a bit about the boobs you're touching. If you aren't sure how rough or gentle you wanna be, ask.
2. Some of us are really not sensitive there at all, so don't get upset if we don't moan.
Sad but true, some women just aren't really sensitive at our nipples. You can suck on them all you want, but it won't be getting a woman's jollies off if it doesn't get her aroused.
3. Don't just chill out around our nipples.
The entire breast can be pretty sensitive. Focusing in on the nipples doesn't do much when you're ignoring the rest of us.
4. The size of our breasts do not influence how sensitive we are.
There are some flat-chested women who really prefer getting their boobs sucked more than cunnilingus. There are large-chested women out there who are very "meh" about anything involving their breasts. Basically, don't assume things because of our size.
5. If you suck on our boobs frequently, there's a chance we might lactate.
It's true for both women who have had kids and women who haven't. The thing is, it's usually not a lot of milk unless you actually put in effort to make a lot of milk happen. Plain and simple, don't freak if it happens.
6. A good way to tell if a girl wants you to play with her tits is if she puts your hands on them.
If she's trying to seduce you and if she does this, chances are she wants you to play with her breasts a bit. She probably wants you to suck on them, too. Don't just start playing with a different body part just because!
7. Some women are OK breastfeeding their boyfriends.
8. Please don't just vacuum our nipples.
Getting too aggressive often just makes the entire thing painful.
9. It's rare to find a woman who won't be happy to receive a breast massage.
Believe it or not, it's possible for women to carry some tension up top. This is particularly true if it's during that time of the month.
10. If she has large breasts, a back massage and shoulder massage is a great prequel to breast play.
Breasts can get very heavy, and that means that we can get back pain just by hauling them around all day. If you want her to relax, a back massage can really work well for that.
11. Nipples have a mind of their own.
If you're sucking on them and they don't get erect, please don't think we're not having fun. We really can't control what they do. They don't always do what they're supposed to, when they're supposed to.
12. We love it when you do foreplay — breast sucking and touching included.