"He’s gotta eat booty like groceries..."
Analingus, also known as "eating booty," seems to have become a sex fad on the same scale as Fifty Shades of Grey-style kink. Here's the thing about these kinds of sex acts that many people don't understand: you need to know a bit about them before you try them.
Unfortunately, guys don't always really read up on this stuff. Here's what girls wish guys knew about eating ass:
1. Not all of us want to do it.
Sure, some girls are into eating a man's butt, but most of us aren't. If we say we aren't comfortable the first time, listen to us.
2. Speaking of which, don't assume we're OK with having it by surprise.
Like, give us a heads up before you go back there. Sometimes we want to be given a little warning.
3. Not all of us want to have it done to us, either.
Some of us are really shy about our back door. Please respect that, and don't try to convince us otherwise. It can actually put a huge damper on a relationship if you keep insisting.
4. On the other hand, some of us prefer it to cunnilingus.
Just ask. Seriously. A good portion of us get addicted to it once we've had it done.
5. If you want to really give a girl a great time, lick her booty while you finger her vagina.
Your girlfriend will thank you. It feels amazing, and will actually make penetration feel more awesome than we thought possible.
6. Don't finger us back there without giving us the heads up.
Doing that while you're eating booty can cause problems with the wrong girl — or even just the wrong timing.
7. Hygiene is key.
Let us shower before you lick us back there. Please, take a shower before you ask us to lick you back there. Doing it dirty can get us both very sick. Asking us to shower isn't rude — it's safety.
8. Us allowing you to eat booty doesn't mean you're getting anal.
9. Don't just jam your tongue in there.
That generally doesn't feel very good, especially when it's right off the bat. Tease around a little first.
10. Enjoying a girl licking your butthole doesn't say anything about you.
No, guys, it doesn't make you gay. It doesn't make you weird. It's just a sex act. Stop trying to label it!
11. Unless we're really dominant, please don't ask us to sit on your face.
I have yet to hear a girl who didn't think that a guy requesting that wasn't creepy. A better way would be to lick her while she's on her hands and knees.
12. Yes, we can have anal orgasms.
Can you please give us one? It's possible if you're good with your mouth. Pretty please?