8 Things Men REALLY Think When They're Having Anal Sex With You

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And they're NOT holding back.

Anal sex always feels a bit extra naughty and forbidden, but what are guys really thinking when you let them in your backdoor?

Some of it is what you would expect: Excitement at finally getting there, confusion about how to proceed, and what this all means. But, yes, poop absolutely is on their minds as well.

Here are some of our favorite brutally honest things men are actually thinking when they are having anal sex.

1. "Am I sure she likes this? Why would she like this?"

— Brian Howie, producer of "The Great Love Debate"

 

2. "Finally, she let me in the back door. About time." 

— Anonymous 

 

3. "Will my penis become a poop-stick?"


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"My clients are always worried about poop. On one hand, they feel they should want anal sex because it’s taboo and it seems like everyone is doing it (especially in porn which they emulate), but I have a few clients who just can’t get into it because they’re so worried about their penis becoming a 'poop-stick.'" — Dr. Jess, Astroglide's resident sexologist.

 

4. "How will this actually fit?"

"I contemplated for a few minutes about whether or not this would really work... or actually, more like fit." — Anonymous

 

5. "Why am I always on top?"

Billy Procida, host of the #ManwhorePodcast

 

6. "Remember, you begged her for this. Don't be an assh*le about the poop."

—Billy Procida

 

7. "What? Does she think I'm made of money that I can afford an XBox and lube?"


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—Anonymous

 

8. "I love how this isn't a sin! #BestLoopholeEver."

—Anonymous

 

9. "I'm terrified of anal sex."

"The idea of getting feces on an area of my body that's relatively predisposed to smell and likely disease... Despite several instances of psyching myself and partner up for the event, I've never been able to pull the trigger on 'exit only' sex." — Ray, accountant

 

10. "Uh oh, I think I went too deep."

"I inadvertently went about 40 percent deep and my girlfriend and I weren't sure who shrieked louder. Following that incident, the same lady told me that I was indeed probing her plumbing only for my face to drop and me to say, 'Really?' as if I were just finding out about Santa. She was lying, I was scarred for life. Keep your butthole to yourself, thank you very much." — Ray

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