Who needs calm when you've got vodka?
OK. So your life just kind of SUCKS right now, right? SUPER stressed out?
I totally feel you. At the moment, mine does too.
But what the hell are you supposed to do or say when you honestly want to punch something (or worse ... someONE) in the face? Obviously that's not very kosher, so we need to think of some other (non-violent) solution.
I guess you could meditate or accept life as it is, right? Be all "zen" and take things as they come? Yeah, I agree. There's a time and a place for that.
But honestly, if you're anything like me at this very moment — kids bickering and fighting in the background, brand new dishwasher not working, hundreds of dollars in the hole, cat puking in your shoes, every instant of every day just proving that Murphy's law is TOTALLY in effect — I would give taking a deep breath at this very moment a big 'ole HELL NO.
Because you know what you really want to do? I want to SCREAM. And probably so do you.
So here's to you non-zen, non-keeping-calm screamers!
Here are some of the best quotes I could find to let you know that you are NOT the only person in the world who feels like they are going crazy. Yep, I'm right there with you, friend. Right there.
Consider this your (very TEMPORARY) therapy so you can — after you're done screaming, of course — take a deep breath, maybe a swig of vodka, a puff of a cigarette if that's your thing and move on with your life with a little chuckle. Because you WILL make it through this — just like you have a million times before.
Seriously. Just BACK. OFF.
"I want to break things."
RAGE, rage, RAGE against the night.
"Today my words are recycled, my heart is unwilling, my coffee is black, and my rage is PURE." — Elly Belle
UGH. Crying is the WORST.
"I hate that I cry when I'm frustrated because people think I'm hurt when I'm really just trying not to kill you."
Honestly, just go. I need some time to decompress.
"I don't care if you're joking. I'm in a bad mood and you're pissing me off."
"Fuck you very much."
Can you see the "fuck you" in my smile?
"I may look calm but in my head I've killed you three times."
"I hope you step on a lego."
I'm in no mood to please anyone.
"I will not stay silent so that you can stay comfortable."
"The beast in me is caged by frail and fragile bars." — Johnny Cash
"I will NOT keep calm and you can go fuck yourself."
And back away ... slowly.
"Let girls be angry."
Karma's a bitch.
"Revenge? Nah, I'm too lazy. I'm gonna sit here and let karma fuck you up."
Way, way, WAY over it.
"Whatever. I don't care. I'm done."
Cheers to us!
"Here's to the crazy ones."
HELL yes they do.
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."
"Hakuna matata bitches."
Ain't that the truth.
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."
OK, I won't. But still. I want to.
"People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember there's a reason."