You never know, she might go for it.
Okay men, we know the deal — you want your partner to try anal sex but she's not into it. It's a common problem, but luckily for you it's not an insurmountable one.
Here are some ways that you can help your lovely lady get comfortable with the idea of anal. Because to be completely fair, a penis in an assh*le is not something easily associated with her comfort.
A gentleman knows that anal sex is not usually something that should be brought up early on in a relationship. There are always exceptions to this rule, of course. If you're in a relationship where there is already a decent amount of sexual exploration going on, then 1) congratulations, 2) anal probably won't even be that big of a deal.
Unfortunately, if your girlfriend is dead set against anal, you probably won't be changing her mind. Couples that have been together for a while should make an effort to keep their sex lives exciting and varied. Anal sex can be a great way to do this, but only if she's on board. Communication in a relationship is super-important and talking about sex should not be taboo, even if she decides that anal sex is.
Be an adult and broach the subject. While she's basking in a postcoital glow, let her know it's something that you think would be extremely hot to try with her. Gauge her reaction. If she pauses or is hesitant, that's usually a good sign. Almost any woman is going to be hesitant if it's not something that she's tried before. Even if she responds negatively after the pause, there may still be some hope.
If your lady reacts by implying that she's curious about anal, you're pretty golden. Hell, you never know, maybe she'll be ready to start lubing up right away.
On the other hand, an immediate and strong negative reaction probably means that any attempts at coercion will surely go awry. You can always try to put it off for a few months and mention it again under different circumstances.
Some women will just find it gross or repugnant and be completely against it. Be prepared for that possibility. You need to decide if anal sex is a deal breaker or not. Trust us, trying the old "whoops, it slipped" is just going to piss her off. So either find a more adventurous partner or make due with regular old vaginal intercourse.
Remember gentlemen, if you want to have awesome anal sex, she has to be into it, too. More and more women are discovering how erogenous their assh*les are. You just have to show your lady how to be one of them.
There are a few ways to introduce her to anal play:
1. Start off simple without any gadgets.
Make sure she's relaxed and comfortable with your exploring and then use your tongue and/or fingers to stimulate the area around her anus. If she enjoys it, you may want to experiment with inserting a lubed up finger or two.
2. Next time you're having sex, make sure you're in a position that gives you a free hand to explore her butt with.
If she's getting close to climax, it's an especially good time to use your fingers to probe the area around her anus. She's more likely to enjoy it, and it may even help her climax. If it does, that's a surefire way to help convince her that anal play can be satisfying for a woman, too.
3. If she's cool with your initial advances, it might be a good time to introduce some toys, like butt plugs or anal beads.
There are plenty of shapes and sizes available, and if you were to Google something like "butt plug jewelry," you'll find many beautiful jeweled options available. And please, don't forget the lube.
Once you've got your lady climaxing with a bejeweled plug in her booty, she shouldn't take much more convincing. Depending on what you're packing, you may want to continue to experiment with larger sized toys to help prepare her for your penis.
Remember: instant gratification is not the goal here. You want to teach your lady that anal is awesome, and going slowly is almost always a better plan of attack.
When the glorious day comes that she finally is ready, remember that she should be relaxed and you should have plenty of lube on hand. Take things slowly. Also, you must remember that when it comes to any kind of backdoor play, things can get messy. A true gentleman must remain prepared and composed should things gets dirtier than you initially planned.
Now go forth gentleman, have an anal adventure!
This article was originally published at SexLog. Reprinted with permission from the author.