Dear Small Penises Of The World: There's A Vagina Out There For You!

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How To Come To Terms With the size of your penis
Self, Sex

Don't lose hope!

The hotly-debated, ego-crushing, orgasm-causing (or not), anxiety-inducing topic of whether you measure up is an issue everyone loves to hate.

So, I'm going to approach this differently, more humanly, for everyone's sake. 

For some men, the size of their penis can be the absolute measure of manhood, deeply connected to self-worth. For a woman, it can be a weapon of devastating power. One mention from a lady that their partner's member is even a micron smaller than they perceive it can leave a nasty scar on a relationship, as well as one hell of a bruised ego.

Tread lightly, ladies, when it comes to a man's perception of his junk. You're a medieval executioner. Oppositely, a positive comment can have lasting and positive effect on a male lover's ego and your potential sex life together. What woman doesn't love being with a confident man?


For some, this is not an exaggeration. I actually know a man who never married simply because he thought he didn't have the goods downstairs. This is heartbreaking. The romantic in me likes to think that love transcends physicality. I believe whatever he perceived of himself was more than likely an exaggerated case of body dysmorphic disorder.


A woman's vagina varies in shape and size like a man's penis. Not only in width and depth, but sensitivity. Some women simply cannot orgasm from penetration alone. So whether you're hung like a Clydesdale or a field mouse, it won't make one bit of difference.

In this scenario, learn what your lover wants by asking. She's had a lot more practice than you learning what she needs. So listen and learn. While one woman may orgasm in the first few seconds of penetration, another may need their lover to have the stamina of a porn star to reach climax. So her sensitivity and potentially your ability to last will play a more important role than being a perfect size.

Meet Lucille, my incredible Yogi friend from California. Lucille, being newly divorced, was diving back into the Los Angeles dating scene. She was on her third date with a lovely young man and it seemed like the right time to take things into the bedroom.

They pulled into her driveway, she asked him to come inside, and they started things up. Eventually, it was time for the pants to come off.

Her gentleman suitor's member, to the best of Lucille's estimation, was about two inches flaccid and the same when erect. Try as she might, the experience ended with both of them frustrated.

"He became an asshole in the middle of it... and things went downhill from there," she told me.

Sounds hopeless? Not exactly. I asked Lucille if she would have continued to date him if he hadn't copped an attitude that night.

"Absolutely! He was really good at other things. P in the V sex is not all there is, you know? I'm not totally sure things would have worked out in the long run though because he wasn't good at communicating in bed."

Let's analyze. This gentleman's penis size was well below average. According to the British Journal of Urology International, "Average length is 3.6 inches flaccid... and 5.1 inches when erect. The average flaccid penis has a circumference of 3.7 inches, whereas the erect penis measures 4.6 inches."

Lucille spoke more about his turning into a jerk and his lack of communication than anything else. From my conversation with Lucille, it sounded like he missed out on more dates with a woman he had a connection with because his size was the end all be all for him, not her.


Now, I'm a realis. Ladies, if a big dick is a necessity for you, that you go get it, girl. 

However, I will add in that in my conversations with other female friends, across the board they all said that sex is less dynamic and often painful with a man who's XL. My friend Lex led to a story she had about a man that was so large, sex wasn't even an option, and this poor man was practically a virgin because he was too big.

I'm not taking a stand about whether being XL, above average or below is better or worse. What I'm saying is that people are as varied in their needs as our genitals are in size. In the end, it's about finding a partner whose priorities match up with yours.

Whether man or woman, you're not going to make everyone happy. Make yourself happy first. Knowing what you want is fine when it comes to sex and life in general, but accept you won't be perfect for most everyone.

Sex is only one of a multitude of ways to connect. Let the bedroom be just one of those factors.

Look for the right partner, not the right size. Your genitals aren't like Cinderella's shoe: you don't get happily-ever-after for the perfect fit. That's why they call it a fairytale.



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