As written by a brazilian waxer who's been doing it for 14 years.
When I first started working as an aesthetician 14 years ago, Brazilian waxes were the domain of strippers, dancers, and porn stars. But they've since gone mainstream. Everyone from your little sister to your 60-year-old neighbor gets one.
Despite the ubiquity of this particular practice, there are still a lot of people coming in for waxes or contemplating doing so who are surprisingly clueless. If you fall into that category, don't worry: I've got your back. Get ready to earn a gold star from your aesthetician.
1. Don't try this at home.
I know your best friend has a wax kit and you've done each other's pits for years, but trust me: A Brazilian wax is a whole different animal. And a Brazilian wax gone wrong? Well, let's just say getting your anus stuck shut is the simplest of complications.
2. Trim before you come in.
Your pubic hair needs to be long enough to wax (about a quarter of an inch), but if it's too long it's going to become a matted, painful mess. If we have to spend time trimming it for you, you'll find out why we put the phrase "and up" on our pricing. Use a beard trimmer and get things in order before you get on the table.
3. This isn't weird or gross to us.
We promise. We will be able to look you in the eye after, even if we know you.
4. Those baby wipes in the room are for you.
Go ahead and freshen up. It'll improve the experience for everyone.
5. We really do need to know your medical history and current medications.
Some conditions, medications, and supplements make waxing unsafe or riskier because they cause thinning skin, easy bruising or bleeding, heat sensitivity, or other relevant side effects. There's nothing more horrifying than waxing someone's skin off because they didn't tell you they're taking Accutane.
We don't want to hurt you, and we definitely don't want to traumatize you. Even if you think it's irrelevant, be forthcoming. Better safe than sorry.
6. You're normal, and so is your body.
The only genitals that don't belong to them are the surgically-enhanced ones in porn or those of their sex partners. As a result, a lot of people are concerned that theirs are somehow inadequate. They're not. You're not.
Genitals come in many shapes and sizes and colors. I've literally seen hundreds of sets of them, and I've yet to see one that alarmed me. Believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about.
7. We've seen it all.
Whatever it is you're embarrassed about, we've seen it before. It's damn near impossible to shock us when it comes to body stuff.
8. We love it when you ask us questions.
We're educated in a lot more than waxing. Most of us have a broad knowledge base that covers everything from skin care treatments, and lasers to skin physiology, product chemistry, and anatomy. So please, ask us questions. We're here to help.
9. Farts happen.
Queefs, too. Should your vagina decide mid-wax to sing the song of her people, let's all just laugh about it and move on. It's the least awkward way.
10. Be prepared to get on all fours.
Aestheticians have different techniques and you may not have to, but be mentally ready to assume the position.
11. For the love of all that is holy, don't have sex before you come in.
Seriously, just don't. That's a quick way to get yourself on the list of people we will never book again.
12. You have hair in your ass crack, so don't make it weird by insisting you don't.
If you don't want to wax it, that's beyond OK. But when your aesthetician asks if you want her to wax the back, understand that she's not asking for her health. A simple yes or no will suffice.
13. Wait until the week after your period to get waxed.
When you're PMSing or on your period, you're more sensitive to pain. There's no reason to make it worse for yourself.
14. Male Brazilian waxes require specialized training.
Not all aestheticians perform them, so if you're wanting one, ask if that service is offered before booking your appointment. The last thing you want is for your sack to be used as a guinea pig because someone felt bad turning you away.
15. We truly appreciate you trusting us.
We know this is a vulnerable position to put yourself in. We will do everything we can to honor that trust. Just like Vegas, what happens here stays here.