Experts Say These 2 Small Factors Prevent Divorce Most
Doing these two things will keep your love strong.
Love brings two people together in mysterious ways. Sometimes, you're so different that you don't understand it — you just click. Opposites are often the BEST complements, no matter how different the two people are. But even though your dynamic makes sense to you at the beginning of your relationship, that can all change later on. Your partner's personality might not coordinate with your current needs, which can completely throw off your connection.
Do you feel like your differences are throwing off your love connection? The former SVP of YourTango Experts Melanie Gorman, holistic medium practitioner, author, and creator of Living the Spiral program Cathleen Miller, behavioral analyst Steven Sisler, and biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher have some great tips to maintain your quirky relationship. Here's what they say will keep your love alive and in sync.
Doing these two things will prevent divorce:
1. Know who you are
Get to know yourself and understand what type of personality you have. Later, share that with your partner so you understand each other's needs and can work towards meeting those needs together.
2. Respect your differences
Understand that your partner isn't like you in many ways. Don't push your him/her to live life the same way you do. Respect that your partner is different and enjoy your life together with those differences. "You know, the issue is we don't see people as they are," explains Steven Sisler. "We see them as we are. That creates the difficulty. So, we have to see them as they are, and ... respect the difference and realize they're not doing that because they're trying to annoy me. That's just how they're wired. And so when we understand that, it's okay."
Being in a relationship means accepting the other person, flaws and all. And it's all about trust. Trusting that they won't hurt you, and trusting that they feel the same way about you and will continue to choose you. Because love is a choice, and it is a choice that must be made every day. That's all any of us can ever hope for.
Melanie Gorman is the former Senior VP of YourTango Experts. Helen Fisher Ph.D., is a biological anthropologist and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and Chief Scientific Advisor to the dating site Match. She is the author of the book The Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, among other titles. Steven Sisler is a Personality Consultant, Behavioral Profiler, and lead Behavioral Analyst at The Behavioral Resource Group. Cathleen Miller is an Intuitive Energy Practitioner & Intuitive Lifestyle Expert who works with clients internationally and also creates and leads world-class body-mind wellness retreats for top Condé Nast resorts. Liza Caldwell runs SAS for Women, a boutique firm that specializes in helping women free themselves from dysfunctional and unhappy relationships.