10 Reasons A Zombie Would Be WAY Better Than Your Lame Boyfriend
Sometimes you want a man who wants you for your brain.
AMC Fear The Walking Dead, the spinoff prequel to The Walking Dead, premieres tonight, and it's already getting amazing reviews and has already been renewed for a second season despite not even coming close to having anyone as perfect as the divine Daryl Dixon (at least not yet). The show covers the earliest days of the outbreak and takes place in Los Angeles, which is a beautiful twist, considering a lot of people there lack brain function in real life.
Since there's no Daryl Dixon equivalent to fall in love with on FTWD just yet, let's all make the most of it and just fall in love with some walkers. Believe it or not, a lot of them may actually be better for you than the toxic douchebags you're currently dating. Seriously! Here's why dating a zombie would probably be a positive move for your love life. (And if it gets a little too scary for you, just remember to aim for the head and run faster than whoever else is around you, and you'll be fine.)
1It's easy to win arguments.
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2He's always drawn to you.
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3He's not afraid to show affection. Or use teeth.
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4A zombie won't tie you down unless that's what you want. Mostly because they can't make knots, but still, it's great to not feel pressured into a commitment.
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5You never have to worry about a walker drinking and driving.
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6You have an automatic excuse for your kids being hideous.
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7They'll never spoil movies for you, because their limited brain function makes them unable to process plots.
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8He understands how you look and feel before you've had your coffee.
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9Group dates are always a go.
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10They're easy to trap. No pregnancy required!
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