Repeat: Byeeeeee Felicia!
By Mackenzie Johnson
First dates are bad enough, but when your prospective babe makes one of these colossal errors, you know it's time to run. Whether he's leaning across the table to order on your behalf or talking about his ex that got away, you should probably cut your losses.
Here are our top 15 red flags.
1. The Forgotten Name
This should be a no brainer. If he can't keep his ladies straight, you shouldn't be one of them. Peace and blessings!
2. The Ex Chronicles
First date conversations usually revolve around the basics; jobs, where you're from and what you do in your spare time. If the conversation deviates from this and enters into ex territory, there clearly are some unresolved feelings in orbit. This is probably the most inappropriate time to drop an ex bomb.
Thus, we would steer clear if he keeps bringing up good times with his last lady friend.
3. Too Tipsy
It's completely standard to kick back an extra vodka martini during your prep time. Who doesn't love a nice dressing drink to get you locked and loaded for a first date?! But when this sly cocktail turns into multiple, your evening may take a turn for the worse.
If your date is white girl wasted before the appetizer, it's probably time to get the check.
Ah yes. He's an entrepreneur. But what do you really do? If he's dodging work questions or giving you occupations that aren't recognized by Google, you should run for the hills as he probably lives on his parents' couch.
5. The "L" Bomb
Many individuals have suffered the "I love you" line a little too early in the dating game. If this happens after a few cocktails on your first date, you know the drill. RUN.
6. Wardrobe Malfunction
Dressing for a first date is simple. While we don't expect Chuck Bass to walk through those doors, we also don't want to see a Justin Timberlake circa Britney era ensemble. If your potential bae can't pull together a clean Oxford and well-fitted jeans, on to the next!
7. Stinky Date
You would think this would be a given, but who knows anymore. If your date appears a little riper than expected or has dirt under his nails (GASP), there's no amount of grooming that will reverse a dirty syndrome.
8. Tech Dependent
If your date can't manage to step away from his phone for a meal, you should probably reevaluate this match. Unless you're handling some serious CIA operatives, you should probably put the mobile away and pay attention. If he's taking selfies at the table, that's a whole other bag of issues!
9. Talks About His Mom WAY Too Much
OMG, please don't tell us we remind you of your mother. There is something very wrong with that, and we would prefer to be considered our own entity as opposed to a reincarnation of your nearest and dearest. That's your cue.
10. Brings Up His Finances
While financial stability is a nice bonus for a potential love interest, discussing your salary and 401(k) at the table is in poor taste. Understated is always the way to go, and if your date can't follow this simple rule of etiquette, it's time to go!
11. Orders On Your Behalf
Your prospective prince charming decides to conquer the dinner table by ordering on your behalf. You barely know me, so how do you know that I prefer steak to salmon or vodka over gin?! Thank you, but I can make my own choices.
12. Lack Of "Focus"
If his head is turning for every booty pop roaming past your table, you should probably reevaluate your situation. If he can't keep his eyes on the prize, on to the next!
13. Sticks You With The Bill
The back and forth banter when the check comes is cute and flirty. Until he sticks you with the entire charge. While we are totally good to pay for our share, sticking us with the entire bill is a total red flag.
14. The Boasting Boy
While that's totally dope that you summer in East Hampton and share a chopper with a Kennedy, let's keep the bragging to a minimum. If your date is dragging on and on about his trust fund on a first date, he's clearly overcompensating for something. Au revoir!
15. No Friends, More Problems
If your date drops the bomb that his friend group is slim to none,you need to peace out. Bye!
This article was originally published at Guest Of A Guest. Reprinted with permission from the author.