Happiness IS attainable.
By Melanie Gorman and Barbara Ann Williams and Pat Love and Joan Jerkovich and Kathryn Brown Ramsperger and Melanie Gorman — Written on Mar 29, 2018
We spend so much time looking for ways to be happy and trying to find a shortcut to happiness that we don't even realize when we've missed the mark. Instead of focusing on the internal things we can change to get to feel happier and get to our happy place, we let outside sources dictate how happy we feel.
Imagine this scenario: For the first time, everything feels like it is going great in your life. You've been dating someone for a few years who adores you (and practically thinks you hung the moon), you have a job that you love, and a beautiful view of the city where you live.
Yet, despite all the things you have achieved, you still can't escape the feeling that something's missing. You're not truly happy, despite having everything you want, because you're looking to outside sources to dictate your happiness.
If you're looking for ways to be happy, stop giving external sources the power to control your happiness and start taking responsibility for creating happiness yourself.
YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman, therapist Dr. Pat Love, relationship coach Barbara Ann Williams, board-certified coach Joan Jerkovich, and MICI-certified coach Kathy Ramsperger offer three ways you can fill that void and finally find the happiness that you've been craving:
1. Give yourself some much-deserved TLC.
Barbara Ann Williams puts it best when she says "I can't expect anybody else to do for me what I'm not doing for me. So I need to pick [myself] up when I'm down, don't feel too well [...] Give yourself a pick-me-up." No one but yourself is in charge of your own happiness. You should be able to treat yourself or give yourself a pat on the back as often as you want, especially if it makes you feel happier.
2. Let go of those negative thoughts.
Negative thinking can really weigh you down. We often overlook the fact that happiness starts with ourselves.
If you're not happy with yourself, it's only logical that everything you makes you feel empty. Change the way you think, and you'll see serious results. Start by thinking one positive thought every time you have a negative thought. If you have time to think negatively, then you should also make time to think positive thoughts, too.
3. Find a hobby you love, and start doing it — ASAP!
This may sound too easy, but it works. Keeping yourself occupied with something that you love doing (especially if you're super great at it) will pay off in the end. Work and family can eat up a lot of personal time, but it doesn't have to take over your life. Make time every day to spend alone or doing something you love. It'll help you relax and boost your mood.
After watching the YourTango Experts video above, if you want to learn more or reach out to our panel of Experts directly, you can do so on Barbara, Joan, Kathy and Pat's websites.