Men, take note: These things are WAY hotter than being fit.
For me, the sexiest thing a man can have is a good head on his shoulders. You don't need to woo me with rock-hard biceps or a strong core … you just need to be able to talk to me, baby.
In other words: Intelligence wins over any looks you can throw at me. I get totally weak in the knees over a man who is able to keep a great conversation with me, keep me interested, help me learn. I find a smart man to be the sexiest of all.
1. Have a deep, passionate interest in something.
I don't care whether this interest is even something that I share. I don't give a hoot about cars but my boyfriend is crazy about them, and he stares at cars in the street like many men do with hot women. And I totally love it. I love that he has a deep passion and interest for something and that he rattles off car facts not to impress anyone, but because he's genuinely interested. And it's super sexy!
2. Read — of your own accord!
If a man has a veracious appetite for books, it's an immediate turn-on. It means that he wants to get lost in a good story, or learn something. He wants to feed his brain. And that kind of investment is better than any time in the gym.
3. Use a rich (but not pretentious) vocabulary.
Maybe it's because I'm a writer, but if a man uses the perfect word in the perfect context, I'm immediately weak in the knees. But it has to be genuine: if you're throwing around big, pretentious words just to make people think you're smart, we can tell — and the effect is the opposite (and it's not sexy).
4. Have an opinion on worldly issues.
I don't mean that you must have a defined stance on every single war and foreign relations issue in the entire world, but knowing what’s going on beyond your city reflects a concern for and genuine interest about lives outside of your own.
5. Know what your dreams are ... and chase after them.
I once dated a guy who wanted to act. And he was incredibly talented! But he never made any real steps towards realizing it and he ended up in some humdrum job he totally hates. Have dreams, no matter how big, and go after them — that determination gets us going more than you can imagine.
6. Talk to me for hours about any topic under the sun.
Meeting a hot guy is great but when he only knows about lifting or football and can't keep up a conversation about pretty much anything else, I'm going to get bored real quick. Being able to talk about anything — and also, in the same vein, not being afraid to say, "I don't know — tell me what you know about that" — is intensely attractive.
7. Have not only book-smart intelligence, but emotional intelligence.
Intelligence is great, but you need to be able to get in touch with your emotions. You need to know that as a human, you will feel emotions that you don't understand, but it doesn't necessarily mean they're correct — and you need to be willing to explore those emotions. A man with emotional intelligence is a man who is emotionally available.
8. Have your sh*t together.
Life is confusing and tricky, but if you have the basics together: you do your taxes, you've got a car that functions, it shows self-reliance and maturity.
9. Have personal taste.
Whether this is in music, wine, or something else entirely, having personal taste shows you don't just blindly follow what other people follow. A developed palette shows interest, passion, and autonomy.
10. Teach me something new every day — even without even meaning to.
I'm a reader and a writer. I'm hungry for more knowledge, constantly. I want you to be able to open my eyes even further, to teach me something new, just because that's who you are.
If you’ve got these things under your belt, you've got me, hook, line, and sinker.