Note to self: Being needy doesn't make you a five clinger.
There are definitely plenty of times where we've felt insecure in our relationships. Even though we've FINALLY found someone who just gets us, (flaws and all), those pesky doubts still manage to worm their way in and cause us to pretty much question everything about our relationship.
That's not even the worst part. Instead of just confronting our partners about our insecurities, we end up feeling like we're super needy—We don't know about you, but there's nothing we hate more than being seen as a stage five clinger.
Why is wanting to rely on our partners automatically considered a bad thing?
Someone seriously needs to clear the air on this one. Just because we want to spend more time with our partners doesn't mean we're co-dependent or desperate for love and attention. But for some reason, people automatically assume that
YourTango's Senior VP Melanie Gorman, author Dr. Sue Johnson, Marriage/Couples Counselor Gal Szekely, LMFT Dr. Rita DeMaria, and LCSW Marni Feuerman even back this up by stressing that the REAL problem isn't that we're too needy. In fact, the biggest issues actually start when we lose ourselves in our relationship.
Even though it goes against what society usually tells us, wanting attention from our partners isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's when we give up our own independence and control that things can get a little rocky.
To take things a bit further, Dr. Rita DeMaria makes an interesting point about what it actually means to be "clingy" (and whether or not your actions are normal), which makes total sense since every single relationship is different.
So if you think being a little dependent makes you weak, you need to STOP right there!
But seriously, why should we have to feel bad for wanting our significant others to meet our needs? Because at the end of the day, no one should ever have to settle for less than they deserve. This should just be a given.
According to Sue Johnson, science even proves that relying on our partners actually makes us stronger, not weaker. So just keep focusing on strengthening your relationship and everything else will fall into place.