But right now, amid the fights, the communication problems, the lack of intimacy, or the sexual disconnection, you’re both feeling discouraged, and you’re not sure what you can do to turn your relationship around.
When couples get together, no one hands you a recipe book for relationship success. We tend to think that relationships should be easy and come naturally—and we’re surprised when things don’t go so well.
But why would they? Having a relationship in which you’re passionate lovers, best friends, and a great team is no simple task.
Rest assured, you can have a loving, passionate, intimate relationship. It can also be easy and seamless. But let’s be honest—it usually takes some effort to get there.
The Couples Center is here to help you build the relationship you both want. We offer:
- Relationship specialists: We help both individuals and couples improve their relationships.
- Short-term results: Counseling doesn’t have to take years! We focus on short-term results based on the goals that you set.
- Direct feedback: We offer interactive sessions in a warm, supportive environment, providing you with direct feedback so that you know what needs to be done to change things for the better.
- Up-to-date knowledge: We’re current on relationship research and methodologies and regularly collaborate with each other on new ideas.
- Communication issues
- Affairs and infidelity
- Premarital counseling
- Sex and intimacy
- Parenting issues
- Deciding whether to get married
- Healthy separation and divorce
Want more information before you commit? Get free access to 3 videos and an article on The Secrets of Successful Relationships.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
My passion for personal growth goes all the way back to my teen years, when a series of difficult personal experiences led me to wonder: What creates connection and relationship? What is our potential for success? I began a lifelong search for answers that brought me to meditation, philosophy, and therapeutic work that eventually led me to the woman who would become my wife.
Years later, when she and I were going through hard times, we decided to seek professional help and understand what it takes to build a successful marriage. That experience inspired me so much that I decided to leave a thriving career in high-tech marketing to become a marriage counselor, establish The Couples Center for couples therapy, and dedicate my work to helping couples create thriving relationships.
I know how hard it is to ask for support, and how frustrating it can be to feel like you’re not living the life you want. Let me know how I can help.
After a hard year dealing with a health issue, a woman and her partner, both in their late 40s, arrived at The Couples Center to address what she described as his “distance and disconnection” from her. At this point, she said, she even suspected him of cheating. He seemed surprised by her accusations, telling me that he’s remained loyal to her and, although the past year has been difficult for them, he loves her and has always been by her side. Distraught, they hoped marriage counseling could help them understand what was happening.
Communication involves the whole body
I was curious about the difference in their stories. As I worked with them, I observed their communication pattern—the woman was very talkative, while the man was mostly quiet. Physically, her body was usually turned toward his, while he sat facing me, eyes downcast. I decided to check that out with them. I pointed out the pattern, then invited them to experiment with it: I advised the woman to continue talking as usual and then, giving the man a cue, had him look directly at her for a few seconds. The woman stopped immediately, in the middle of her sentence. She looked at me in surprise and said, “Now he’s listening. I always wanted him to be present with me and to feel heard, and it never happened until now.” The man also looked surprised, realizing that the reason why she’d repeat herself so much to him was that she never felt heard. He asked me, “Is it possible that such a small thing is so significant in our relationship?”
The answer is yes. Our deep connection to and dependence on our partner makes us very sensitive to their body language. And this is no “small thing”—its messages are many times stronger than our words. But because the process is fast, automatic, and mostly unconscious, we can easily misinterpret it. In this case, she saw his lack of eye contact as a sign of his disinterest. But that wasn’t really the case…
Echoes of the past
We explored their pattern further. Her father had been loving, but worked long hours away from home. She and her three siblings were always fighting for his attention, and over time it became important for her to feel that the other person is listening—now, especially, her husband. For him, I invited him to walk around the room the way he usually does. Noticing that he was looking down, I asked him to try and raise his head slightly. He immediately felt more empowered, yet also more exposed. Through doing that we discovered that he’d been a shy kid and learned to get along by being an observer, hidden from sight. Now, he felt that he wanted to be more open to people and the world and was interested in changing this pattern—but he’d never made the connection to his body language.
Their willingness to communicate, experiment, and connect paid off. Just a few sessions later, they reported a significant shift in their relationship. He was paying more attention to his cues with her, and she felt that he was more engaged and interested in her. Thanks to marriage counseling, they’re well on their way to a more fulfilling, successful partnership.
|Time in Practice||6-10 years|
|I practice in||My state/province only|
|Additional Expertise||Divorce Coach|
Marriage and Family Therapist
|I offer my services||At my office|
Via a webcam
|I am fluent in||English|
|Licence information||Expiration 2/28/15|