Big booties were popular LONG before Megan Trainor sang their praises.
Hey, I think it's great to tell people to be comfortable with and love their bodies. I really do. I think that "All About That Bass" wants people to think that that's the message of the song, but it isn't.
Because Meghan Trainor talks about how people should accept her body for what it is, and then goes on to make fun of "skinny bitches."
My real issue with the song, however, is the point at which Trainor brags about how she's "bringing booty back." You know, just like how a few years ago Justin Timberlake brought sexy back? Well, she claims that she's doing that for booty. Which is a lie.
Big sexy booties have been around WAYYYYYYYY longer than Meghan Trainor.
In fact, right now, booty is more popular than it's ever been, and not because of Meghan Trainor. She's trying to take credit for something that's already popular.
That'd be like if I showed up to a party and was like "I'm bringing shirts back. Everyone's wearing shirts because of me!"
Hey, Meghan Trainor, here's a list of people that have been keeping booty sexy for a really long time. You might want to take some notes, and you should definitely take a seat.
Even if you only have basic cable, you can still get some booty. Just tune into Modern Family and tell yourself that you're watching it "for the jokes."
I mean, if you're singing a modern pop song and you're going to brag about "booty" and your name isn't Nicki Minaj, then what are you thinking? Seriously, Meghan, this is kind of embarrassing.
Some people say it's not real. Those are the same people that walk around malls during Christmas and tell kids that Santa's also not real. They're just missing the point.
If Iggy Azalea had a pancake butt, then she'd have to rap in her real accent. Hey Meghan, is your butt good enough to do that? I don't think so.
This is classic booty right here. It's also from a modern day TV show. So at what point exactly did booty go away, Meghan Trainor? Were you even paying attention to booty?
The '90s, Meghan. That's how long Jennifer Lopez has been bopping that booty around, you nincompoop.
Hey, here's another booty that's stood the test of time. I mean really, Meghan, you think your booty's going to do something that Beyonce's didn't?
I don't really know who Amber Rose is aside from Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa's ex. I mean, in all honesty, her butt is more famous than she is. So there's that.
Some people say Captain America is lame because he doesn't have any super powers. First, they're wrong, he does. Second, look at dat butt! You're going to tell me that's not a super power? Meghan Trainor's only super power is the ability to fail so hard it embarrasses everybody.
Godzilla's butt is big enough to knock down buildings. And it does. Yet people still cheer for him by the end of the movie! Is it because he saved the day, or is it because o' dat butt?