Photo: Dean Drobot | Canva
How to make him open up to you about how he feels.
By Christian Carter
Last updated on Apr 22, 2024
What if you could learn crucial information about a man before you start falling for him? You would be able to know early on if he was worth your effort or a waste of time. That information is available to you; you just need to know how to ask for it. My advice? Use the three magic words, "I'm just curious."
For instance, let's say you want to know if a guy is exclusive with you or seeing other women. When you ask him, "You're not seeing anyone else right now, are you?" It almost automatically invites dishonesty in a man because he'll feel cornered, pressured, and defensive.
On the other hand, if you ask him "Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm just curious." You are letting him know that you'll be okay with whatever he tells you, that you're not needy or too aggressive, and that he can feel safe telling you just about anything. To make a man feel he is "safe" when he shares with you, you have to have what I call the "anything is okay" attitude. This is a really good attitude to have in any aspect of your life, especially about the things you can't control, like other people's feelings.
Now, this doesn't mean that anything is okay for a man to do and that you're supposed to accept anything he does and have no boundaries or limitations. The attitude is more like you thinking, "Anything is okay for you to share with me, but I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life, and what I want." If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, you must have the "anything is okay" attitude and use those three magic words to get the most honest response possible. That way, you won't waste a lot of time going on dates with "unavailable" men, men who have skeletons in their closet, aren't over their exes, or are interested in a different kind of relationship than you are.
And here's a nice bonus: with this magic attitude, you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own without prompting. As a result, he'll be more attracted to you because he'll feel you understand and appreciate him. This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him feel more connected to you at the same time.
More for You:
Christian Carter is a dating coach and author of the e-book Catch Him & Keep Him. He has helped more than three million women become more successful with men, dating, and relationships.