Let's Get Twisted: I Tried The 'Passion Pretzel' — And I Liked It

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pretzel
No, this is definitely not a seasonal treat from Auntie Anne's.

Welcome to Sex Positions Road Test. Each week we'll try out a new move in bed (or somewhere else) and give you the real deal, awkward moments included. Have one you want us to try out? Tell us in the comments below.

I was a little confused about this position to be honest. It seemed almost impossible to gain any sort of momentum or thrusting in this odd little number. I wonder who thought of this one? This surely was cooked up in a time of complete and utter boredom. I love variety but I also like getting off. On the other hand, this position did have some other positives to offer; plenty of touching for both parties. Since J and I would be face-to-face and no one had to use their hands to support. Maybe this could be an appetizer before the real thing? We would soon find out.

 

J and I got into this while watching a documentary about Pussy Riot on TV. I'm not sure if it was our fervor for unfairly imprisoned individuals or the spicy food we had earlier, but we were feeling very frisky. We started making out horizontal-style until I suggested that we try the Passion Pretzel.

J remarked, "I'd rather just have a real pretzel."
"You'd rather eat a pretzel than bone me?" I asked miffed.
"No silly, I'd rather do you. But I'd rather do it doggie style."

J. and I did the Passion Pretzel this morning. It started fairly organically. We were both in the kitchen when he came up behind me and kissed my neck. I turned around and we started to make out high-school dance style. Then he kissed his way down my body lifting my shirt as he went, until he was on his knees. I joined him on the kitchen floor. And that's when the idea for the Passion Pretzel popped into my head. (This is the good thing about doing a sex challenge. Everything that vaguely resembles a sex position becomes an opportunity. Hell, I've even found myself sitting on the subway or walking up the stairs at my manicure place, thinking, "Hmmm, J. and I could do the Couch Canoodle or Backstairs Boogaloo here." Then I catch myself and think, "Eww germs.")

I quickly described the Pretzel to J, and he was game. Though, frankly, I could have described any position and he would have been game. The boy was horny. Gotta love those morning hours!

We stripped and assumed the position. Then suddenly, as J. and I were pushing back and forth against each other, an image of me hooking up with The Coif popped into my head. I remembered this one time we had sex kneeling on the kitchen floor (though without the opposite legs up, like the Pretzel calls for). And I could not get it out of my head. I couldn't bear the thought of looking at J. so I started to kiss his neck. Then I couldn't bear the thought of not looking at J. so I pulled back and locked eyes with him.

But I kept thinking about The Coif. And I didn't even try that hard to stop. Ughhh. What's wrong with me? I got over him a long time ago and I'm so madly in love with J. But this really shook me.

Eventually I distracted myself by focusing on every little sensation, from the pressure of J.'s hands on my butt cheeks to his lips on mine and of course, to the way his pelvic bone was grinding against my clitoris. Ironically, this is what made the sex so hot. Just as J. started to come and thrust really hard against me, I had a really strong clitoral orgasm.

Putting aside my guilt (even if did teach me a good lesson about how to enjoy the moment and focus on the pleasure), the pose absolutely gets my recommendation. It was a great mix of feeling in control and feeling a bit dominated. And while J. couldn't get too deep, all that grinding felt so freaking good. Definitely a fun variation on standing up sex. Plus, I think it gave my thighs a workout.

P.S: J. promised me he wouldn't read the blog, which is why I feel comfortable spilling all of this ...

Have you ever thought of someone else while boinking your guy? Have you ever done it on purpose — fantasizing about a celebrity or an ex you miss? And if you had to choose to have only clitoral orgasms or G-spot orgasms, which would it be? Luckily we don't actually have to choose (thanks to the blended orgasm), but I'm just curious!

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