Ouch! 43 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Greatest Cynics

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anti love quotes
Gotten burned by love? Play it cool with one of these zingers.

"Love is a many splintered thing." No truer words have been spoken (by The Simpsons, anyway). Whether it's a funny one-liner or a genuinely jaded jab, sometimes a great quote can really speak to what you're feeling — especially when you're feeling the sting of love gone south. "Love is a grave mental disease," you say? Touché, Plato. Touché.

1. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." — Mae West
 
2. "Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice." — Bill Cosby
 
3. "Love is a promise delivered already broken." — Steve Martin
 
4. "Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable." — Cher
 
5. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." — Rodney Dangerfield
 
6. "Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage." — Ambrose Bierce
 
7. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates
 
8. "A kiss may ruin a human life." — Oscar Wilde
 
9. "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." — Joan Rivers
 
10. "Love is a grave mental disease." — Plato
 
11. "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." — Henny Youngman
 
12. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn''t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." — Pete in "Knocked Up"
 
13. "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." — Katharine Hepburn
 
14. "Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife." — Groucho Marx
 
15. "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." — Lynda Barry
 
16. "If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes." ― Chuck Palahniuk
 
17. "Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows." — Paulo Coelho
 
18. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." — Jim Carrey
 
19. "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams." — Fyodor Dostoevsky
 
20. "Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance." — Oscar Wilde
 
21. "A man is only as faithful as his options." — Chris Rock
 
22. "Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love." — Isaac Disraeli
 
23. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." ― Joan Crawford
 
24. "Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." ― Lemony Snicket 
 
25. "Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." ― Laurell K. Hamilton
 
26. "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
 
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