Ouch! 43 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Greatest Cynics


Gotten burned by love? Play it cool with one of these zingers.

Whether it's a funny one-liner or a genuinely jaded jab, sometimes great love quotes can really speak to what you're feeling — especially when you're feeling the sting of love gone south.

1. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."  
2. "Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice." 
3. "Love is a promise delivered already broken."
4. "Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable."
5. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we miet." 
6. "Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage."
7. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
8. "A kiss may ruin a human life."
9. "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks."
10. "Love is a grave mental disease."
— Plato
11. "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
12. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever."
Pete, Knocked Up
13. "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."
14. "Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife."
15. "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
16. "If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes." 

17. "Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows."
18. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
19. "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams."
20. "Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."
Oscar Wilde
21. "A man is only as faithful as his options."
22. "Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love."
23. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." 
24. "Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." 
25. "Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." 
26. "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
27. "Love is a many splintered thing."
28. "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
29. "Falling in love is so hard on the knees."
30. "You can never be wise and be in love at the same time." 
31. "My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
Jarod Kintz
32. "Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species."
33. "Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?"
34. "A woman is faithful to her first lover for a long time — unless she happens to take a second."
35. "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
36. "No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."
37. "A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman."
38. "A man's love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished."

39. "What's love but a secondhand emotion?"
40. "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
41. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
42. "Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating." 
— Ray Bandy
43. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." 
 Groucho Marx

If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotesinspirational sayings, and hilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.


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