Gotten burned by love? Play it cool with one of these zingers.
Continue below to read what some of the world's greatest cynics had to say about love:
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."
— Mae West
"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice."
— Bill Cosby
"Love is a promise delivered already broken."
— Steve Martin
"Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we miet."
— Rodney Dangerfield
"Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage."
— Ambrose Bierce
"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
"A kiss may ruin a human life."
— Oscar Wilde
"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks."
— Joan Rivers
"Love is a grave mental disease."
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
— Henny Youngman
"Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever."
— Knocked Up
"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."
— Katharine Hepburn
"Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife."
— Groucho Marx
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
— Lynda Barry
"If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes."
― Chuck Palahniuk
"Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows."
— Paulo Coelho
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
— Jim Carrey
"Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams."
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."
— Oscar Wilde
"A man is only as faithful as his options."
— Chris Rock
"Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love."
— Isaac Disraeli
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
― Joan Crawford
"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."
― Lemony Snicket
"Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed."
― Laurell K. Hamilton
"The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
— Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"Love is a many splintered thing."
— The Simpsons
"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
— Robin Williams
"Falling in love is so hard on the knees."
"You can never be wise and be in love at the same time."
― Bob Dylan
"My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
― Jarod Kintz
"Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species."
— W. Somerset Maugham
"Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?"
"A woman is faithful to her first lover for a long time — unless she happens to take a second."
— Francois de La Rochefoucauld
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
— Johnny Carson
"A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman."
— Isaac Goldberg
"A man's love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished."
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
"What's love but a secondhand emotion?"
— Tina Turner
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
— Bob Hope
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
— George Burns
"Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating."
— Ray Bandy
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
— Groucho Marx
Love is life’s greatest gift, which is why people have a passion for love quotes - and we’ve got you covered. When it comes to saying “I love you”, the truth about marriage, or even finding the perfect love quote for your guy, we have all the cute (or sexy!) quotes you need.