Ouch! 43 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Greatest Cynics

Ouch! 43 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Greatest Cynics

Ouch! 43 Anti-Love Quotes From The World's Greatest Cynics

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Gotten burned by love? Play it cool with one of these zingers.

"Love is a many splintered thing." No truer words have been spoken (by The Simpsons, anyway). Whether it's a funny one-liner or a genuinely jaded jab, sometimes great love quotes can really speak to what you're feeling — especially when you're feeling the sting of love gone south. "Love is a grave mental disease," you say? Touché, Plato. Touché.

1. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." — Mae West
 
2. "Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice." — Bill Cosby
 
3. "Love is a promise delivered already broken." — Steve Martin
 
4. "Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, disposable." — Cher
 
5. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." — Rodney Dangerfield
 
6. "Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage." — Ambrose Bierce
 
7. "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." — Socrates
 
8. "A kiss may ruin a human life." — Oscar Wilde
 
9. "My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." — Joan Rivers
 
10. "Love is a grave mental disease." — Plato
 
11. "You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." — Henny Youngman
 
12. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond', only it doesn''t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." — Pete in "Knocked Up"
 
13. "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." — Katharine Hepburn
 
14. "Behind every successful man is a woman, and behind her is his wife." — Groucho Marx
 
15. "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." — Lynda Barry
 
16. "If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes." ― Chuck Palahniuk
 
17. "Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows." — Paulo Coelho
 
18. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." — Jim Carrey
 
19. "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams." — Fyodor Dostoevsky
 
20. "Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance." — Oscar Wilde
 
21. "A man is only as faithful as his options." — Chris Rock
 
22. "Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love." — Isaac Disraeli
 
23. "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell." ― Joan Crawford
 
24. "Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." ― Lemony Snicket 
 
25. "Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." ― Laurell K. Hamilton
 
26. "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
 
27. "Love is a many splintered thing." — The Simpsons
 
28. "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." — Robin Williams
 
29. "Falling in love is so hard on the knees." — Aerosmith
 
30. "You can never be wise and be in love at the same time." ― Bob Dylan
 
31. "My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
" ― Jarod Kintz
 
32. "Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species." — W. Somerset Maugham
 
33. "Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?" — Confucius
 
34. "A woman is faithful to her first lover for a long time — unless she happens to take a second." — Francois de La Rochefoucauld
 
35. "Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die." — Johnny Carson
 
36. "No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves." — Edgar Watson Howe
 
37. "A woman tries to get all she can out of a man, and a man tries to get all he can into a woman." — Isaac Goldberg
 
38. "A man's love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished." — Zsa Zsa Gabor
 
39. "What's love but a secondhand emotion?" — Tina Turner
 
40. "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy." — Bob Hope
 
41. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." — George Burns
 
42. "Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debating." — Ray Bandy
 
43. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." — Groucho Marx

If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotesinspirational sayings, and hilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.

 

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