10 Misconceptions About Sex From A Virgin's Point Of View


Couple sitting on a bed
Dangerous, dirty or icky? Not really.

Once upon a time, I was a very sheltered girl. Sex was the ultimate taboo—I thought it was dangerous, dirty, and I failed to understand how anyone could derive pleasure from it. In high school, when my friends started engaging in sexy time, their less than positive reviews of their experiences didn't make sex sound any more appealing. It wasn't until I got to college, and started meeting more experienced, sex-positive, empowered ladies that I started to cultivate a more positive view of sexuality. And when I finally started having sex with an incredibly sensitive man, I confirmed that a lot of my fear of sex was based on fallacies and lies. College Candy: Sexy Time: What Is Sex, Anyway?

Without further ado, here are some of my most misguided thoughts.


10. Tummy fat is kryptonite for guys
I used to be absolutely terrified of getting naked in front of a guy. In fact, I actually lost my virginity while wearing a dress. I thought a dude would catch one glance of my layer of chub and totally lose interest. In reality, most guys are not that douchey, and when they're that close to sticking their goods into your mouth and/or vag, trust—they think you're the sexiest woman in the world this side of Megan Fox.

9. Small penis = no pleasure
The average depth of a vagina is 6 inches. The average length of a penis is 5 inches. More than likely, whatever he's packing is more than sufficient. But even if it's not, whatever—a finger feels good, and the odds of encountering a penis any smaller than that is highly unlikely.

8. Liking rough sex means you have no self-respect
I totally bought into the idea that a woman allowing a man to dominate her in bed was letting herself be degraded…and then I actually started playing with dominant/submissive role play, and it is the complete antithesis of degrading. As a consenting adult woman, creating a fantasy world with someone I trust, role play is incredibly empowering.

7. Condoms are uncomfortable
I knew before I started having sex that I would always expect dude to wear a condom, as hormonal birth control is not an option for me. But I was expecting condoms to be instruments of evil. I mean, who hasn't heard horror stories of condoms constantly breaking or condoms getting lost somewhere in the vag. But in my experience, condoms get an unnecessarily bad rap. As long as they're put on properly, and smothered in lube, things should be fine. Sure, you may have to experiment with different ones to find one that is perfect for the guy and for you, but being baby and disease free is worth the extra work. College Candy: He Said/She Said: Not-So-Sexy Moves

6. Having sex "too soon" ruins any chance of a relationship
So…full disclosure—I had sex with a guy less than a week after I first met him. We're now approaching our one year anniversary. I know a lot of you are side-eyeing me, thinking that my situation is an anomaly, and yes, I'll acknowledge that there are tons of guys who wouldn't consider me "girlfriend material"…but they're clearly misogynistic jerks, so their opinion is very much null, void, and completely irrelevant to any self-respecting woman's interests. If a guy truly likes you, he will have complete respect for you whether you sleep with him or not.

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