Male Take: Where To Meet Good Men

I was having a conversation with one of my single female friends the other day—in fact, I was having the conversation with her, since it's one that I seem to have with all the single women I know at some point or another. We were trying to figure out what kind of guy she should go for, who would make her happy for the long haul and where she should find him. 6 Secret Places To Meet Men

Normally I'm pretty stumped when this topic comes up. How can you tell who's going to be a good guy? Beats me. Some of my best male friends, whom of course I consider to be excellent guys, have been known to just stop calling girls when they get tired of the relationship. No breakup, no explanation, no good-bye, just silence. How could they possibly do that? I would never recommend that kind of a guy to a woman friend, and yet until they told me they had done so, I assumed they were all high-quality catches and had even given their numbers away.

So the question of how to choose is clearly quite thorny. When you consider how most any woman can pick up guys very easily (typically much more easily than they think—trust me!), it would seem that it's just a matter of picking up the right ones—and having the relationship be more than just sex. No small feat though, right?

But think about it: one reason you might think it's hard to pick up guys is because you're trying to pick up the most desirable-seeming candidate in any situation, the most handsome, best-dressed, wittiest, or whatever guy in the room. But if you identify him that way, a lot of other women probably do, too. With guys like that, not only is there more competition, but the fawned-upon dude is likely to be spoiled. That often makes him not such a good choice. And if you were to look to someone less obvious, your chances would go way up.

It's been said many times, but the human tendency to reach for the stars often gets in the way of the more-than-good-enough that might be staring us in the face. We desire something and get unhappy when we don't get it, but if we removed that "perfect" mental image from our heads, we might be completely content with what is actually at hand. How To Fall In Love With Mr. Good Enough

Next week, I'm going to talk about the one sign to look for early in a relationship that tells you that you might be on the right track, but first we have to get there. Where do you go to meet decent guys? The answer, of course, is not bars. Going to bars works for drunken hook-ups (and, hey, sometimes that might be what the Dr. ordered), but for something more promising, you need to be sober and talking to someone who isn't just out for a wasted romp.

Here are five tried-and-true places to meet guys more likely to be good relationship material.