Dating A Narcissist: Should I Leave Him?
The 9 signs of narcissism and whether to stay or leave him.
With shows like The Pickup Artist remaining perennially popular, it seems that male narcissism is flourishing if not becoming epidemic while being fueled by our culture and the media. While egomaniacs may make for irritating but good TV, they can have a truly destructive impact on the lives of their loved ones. Shocking Percentage Of Women Think Abuse Is OK
While considering the narcissistic levels of ourselves or loved ones is not new, a recent Chicago Tribune article about dating narcissists offered some handy tips on how to diagnose and, more importantly, decide to live with (or leave) a narcissist. The American Psychological Association lists nine core traits of narcissism, but someone only needs five of these to qualify for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Yay!
1) Feels grandiose and self-important for reasons not supported by reality. Umm do unattractive guys with insufficient employment and horrible personalities who think they deserve to date supermodels sound familiar to you? You may have encountered a walking NPD.
2) Obsessed with fantasies about unlimited success, fame, power or omnipotence. "After I travel the world and write my book I'll sell it to Hollywood, Johnny Depp will play me, then I'll start my business and consult, giving speeches around the world for six figures..." etc etc etc. Yawn. Are You Narcissistic?
3) Believes he/she is unique and special and can be understood by and associate with only other unique or high-status people. The No-One-Gets-Me-Guy. He is so unique and rare that no one can compete with him and you probably can't even comprehend half of the amazing thoughts he has in his head. Right.
4) Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation. You: "Oh yes, you sounded perfect on the phone with your boss! You were firm but not overbearing, you flattered him but got in some good points about yourself, I can't believe how well you handled that." Repeat x's 100 or however long it takes for him to stop fishing for compliments and positive analysis.
5) Feels a sense of entitlement. This extend to everything from your time, your body, to possessions and service. Expecting you to have sex when he wants it, even when you've had a terrible day and are not in the mood would be one example. The Shocking Behavior That's Bad For Relationships
6) Exploits others without guilt or remorse. "Of course my sister is going to drop everything and find a babysitter for the kids and rush over here to help me paint my bathroom!"
If you even think you are dating (or living with) a narcissist run as far away as fast as you can. There is no logical reason in the world for staying in a relationship with someone with NPD. You must get out while you have the strength because this personality type is capable of destroying you. Yes, they need help, but it's not your responsibility to help them or subject yourself to that type of behavior. I know from experience. I stayed way too long and the best decision I ever made was to leave. I am happier now than I have ever been.
