How to make a smoldering impression and make the dating game work for you.
Landing Mr. Right isn't easy… even for an intelligent and successful woman. Weeding through the players, the losers and the psychos can be hopelessly frustrating, and when you finally find a man with potential, you'll usually find fifty other hopeful bachelorettes competing for his attention.
If you want to win at the game of love, you'll need to quickly stand out from the rest of the pack and captivate your quarry from the start. To make sure this happens, I've put together a list of five proven strategies to help you make a smoldering impression and blow away the competition.
Strategy #1: It's all in the eyes
In her book, How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You, author Leil Lowndes claims that the act of staring into someone's eyes can cause their nervous system to release a chemical called phenylethylamine (or PEA for short) which our bodies secrete when we fall in love. Studies show that gazing into your date's eyes for about two minutes is all it takes to produce passionate feelings for you, so take advantage of this little secret to flood his bod with the love drug. 10 Quick Ways To Size Him Up
Strategy #2: Let them know they have a shot
Studies show that finding out that someone we like, likes us back, actually intensifies our romantic feelings towards them. Yes, we actually become more attracted to people who are attracted to us. The hope (that a relationship may develop) allows our feelings to become stronger so be sure to let your date know that you're attainable. 4 Sneaky Ways To Put The Moves On A Guy
Now most of the time, it can be awkward (and detrimental) to tell your date, flat out, that he makes Mr. Big look like Mr. Bean, so show your interest non-verbally, instead (using compliments, frequent touching, attention, laughter, etc.). Now, since some guys won't always catch your hints, it's a good idea to throw out some direct compliments, as well. Two great phrases to use are:
- "I have so much fun when we hang out."
- "I feel really comfortable opening up to you."
Strategy #3: Be sure to qualify
One of the best ways to let someone know that you like them is by letting them know exactly WHY you like them. Try saying, "I love how you always open doors for me and walk on the outside of the curb. Some women may not appreciate it, but that kind of attention makes me feel really special," or "I think it's great that you spend so much time with your family. You obviously know how to make time for the important things."
The act of qualifying not only shows that you have standards but it also makes your date feel that he has earned your attraction/affection. If he likes you, he'll be enjoying the process of winning you over so these thoughtful compliments will encourage him to keep on wowing you. Essential (Obvious) Flirting Tips
Strategy #4: Observe the Law of Association
Studies show that we judge a person's attractiveness in contrast with the people around them. Sadly, our physical beauty is the first thing we're judged on, so when you’re meeting someone you like, it's best to initially (at least for the first date) be in the company of less attractive people (of the same sex).
You can supercharge your perceived attractiveness even more by being seen with an attractive person of the opposite sex. My good friend will ask all her dates to meet her at a local bar near her house, where she'll be having a drink with one of her male model friends. When her date arrives, she introduces the two of them, says good bye to her friend and leaves with her date. Sneaky, but effective. 3 Secrets To Exuding Sexy
Strategy #5: Make him work for it
Even in this day and age where it's perfectly acceptable for women to behave more aggressively, never forget that men still love to chase. Always think of yourself as a prize that needs to be won over, and make your dates work a bit. You should meet at a place that's convenient for you (he should travel further than you do, if possible) and end the date on your terms, preferably on a high note. Show some interest but let him wonder just how much you're into him.
Also, I highly recommend that you do NOT sleep with a man on a first date unless all you're looking for is a sexual relationship. It's even more important to follow this rule if you happen to be dating a coworker. Not all men will exercise discretion, and while you always run the risk of having your business blabbed about, you should try to maintain a spotless reputation in the workplace. 27 Ways To Say No To Sex
More from WomenCo:
- Eight Conversation Killers to Avoid
- Dating a Coworker: Can It Work for You?
- The 4 Major Break-Up Warning Signs