10 Oral Sex Tips From A Man
Fellatio field guide author offers simple tricks for maximum pleasure.
1. If you're not in the mood, don't bother.
Back in the day, fellatio was generally seen as something only depraved men would want, and only even more depraved women would offer. Thankfully, this has changed to the point where a bit of a nosh almost comes as standard. But take it from me; there is nothing more unappealing than a workmanlike blow job from someone who sees it as contractual obligation. Not sexy at all, ladies… Oral Sex: Love It or Hate It?
2. Your mouth can do a million things your vagina can't.
So make use of it. There's far more to fellatio than sucking, and seeing as his genitals are in your mouth, you are the one who is completely dictating the terms. Enthusiastic head-bobbing one minute, followed by slithering your tongue down his shaft, followed by smoochy kisses around the head…it's all good.
3. Deep-throating isn't everything.
Being able to shove a foot-long hot dog into your mouth at a baseball game might get you on the Jumbotron for a few seconds, but if that's the sum total of your oral technique, you need to expand your repertoire. It gets pretty boring after a couple of minutes—and to be honest, we start worrying about your gag reflex kicking in and your jaws snapping shut.
4. Oral familiarity breeds genital disinterest.
In other words, mix up your technique. There's nothing worse than being with someone who does the same things for the same amount of time in the same order. Surprise us! Number One Sex Tip For Women
5. Get to know his penis…
…because it's more than a bit of meat, y'know. Yes, there's loads of nerve endings round the tip, but quite a few elsewhere. We'd like those stimulated too, please. And please don't forget the balls—gently rubbing them or cupping them in your hand and feeling the weight of them increases the sensations tenfold.
Discussion
Love is a Two way street. If you want to receive Oral sex,then it's only fair that it be reciprocal. Of course one should practice safe sex when performing either Cunningulus(going down on a woman) or Fellatio(oral sex with a mans' Penis), But the sensory experience will not be intense. Use a condom for the Fellatio and you can use Saran Wrap to use as a barrier when you perform Cunningulus. If you feel safe and comfortable when it concerns STD's when performing Oral sex. Then you can do without the Condom and Saran Wrap. The words Fellatio and Cunningulus is Latin in origin. The Romans of the Roman Empire enjoyed their oral sex as much as we do today.
The Romans enjoyed a lot of things as much (if not more) as we do today!
Just a word of warning for some though, don't be to strict with yourself on the "If you go down then I'll do down" mentality. It can be unbelievable fun to just go down on your partner for no real reason and no expectations other than to please them. Sure, there should definitely be some amount of quid-pro-quo, but don't live by it as a rule.
I agree with Q. The idea of quid pro quo is dangerous to a relationship. It makes you feel like you can't just have your partner do something nice, you always have to deserve it or earn it somehow and that's not love. That's not respect. Relationships aren't 50/50, sometimes they are 90/10, sometimes they are 100/0. But that's why they are great, is because you know that you can feel comfortable taking without having to "earn" it. And you know that you can give to your partner for no reason other than you love them. Beware of the quid pro quo. It gives a relationship a sense of entitlement, which quickly breeds resentment. And resentment is a relationship killer.
This is all wonderful advice, thank you for posting.
I just want to say, for the record, that a lot of this advice can apply to the female receiving oral sex (particularly the not complaining about how long it's taking.)
Great article and it is so true if you are not in the mood don't bother...it shows when you are not into it. Oral sex should not feel like a chore.
sounds great i think ya i kno guys like the whole teasing thing and you always need to mix it up i like to wrap my legs around his waist and pull him really close and kiss and breath in his ear. that really seems to work
Sorry, I can't take this article without laughing. I KNOW how to give head! I've posted a response to this article that can be found here: http://www.yourtango.com/200927941/5-oral-sex-tips-men
Okay, now I am really confused (which quite frankly isn't hard to do). I have read book, after book, and article after article that men don't particularly care for the teasing. Most all books and articles I have read just simply state "Women like forplay, touching and kissing, being teased, to reach the plataeu (told you guys that I am horrible speller) of orgasm....", but I have read about men, "Men like to get it on, as quickly as possible. Stop wasting time with teasing and such, just go right for the penis...." Of course, I am paraphrasing, but this is what I have read. I have even applied it and it seems no different, but because of these said books and articles, am I now doing it all wrong?? Have I become predictable and boring? This article suggests that I have. Good God, someone please clear this up before I lose my ever loving mind!!
And on another note.... I love going down on a man. In fact, I pride myself on my skill. But men have to understand that if they want us to do these things, it doesn't hurt to reciprocate. When I am not being reciprocated to, a blow job just seems like a chore. I am not talking equally ALL the time. But once in a blue moon, when a man decides that he WANTS to pay attention to his womans "hot zones" as well, a little "give" goes a long way, and helps me stay in the game 100%. Perhaps then it wouldn't seem so sucky. hehe
Peenu, ditch the books!!
Of course we guys like teasing, sure there might be plenty of guys who just want the main course but if most guys were honest (ha-ha) they'd admit they'd much prefer the appetizers and the dessert, coffee and mints that follow.
Er, I wrote that.
Peenu: if sex was as regimented as, say, fixing a car, someone would have wrote the perfect manual a long time ago and the sex publishing industry would have been reduced to one warehouse. The fact is that when it comes to sex, we all have different takes on what we like. Yes, some men want to get stuck in, but more men then you think actually like to take their time. Personally, there's nothing wrong with a quickie every now and then, but I'd sooner have a three-course meal than have everything slopped into a nosebag, if you know what I mean.
What I was trying to say in that piece - the bit that has confused you - is that, as Qverb has said, we all have our little quirks and tastes, and what worked on your ex isn't necessarily always going to produce the same results on your next. And anyway, the first few encounters with a new partner are always the best times to experiment, if only to find out that the thing you always wanted to try isn't really your cup of tea after all.
Bookmama: Every how-to article should start with 'Find out what YOU like', first, I reckon, but you have a very good point. As for the condom thing, well...yes. Obviously. I was delicately navigating round the issue of 'where can I ejaculate without her going mental at me?', which all men have to deal with at some point.
Thanks for reading, anyway.
Personally, i love it Al. Playful irreverence on a serious subject that really shouldn't be taken so seriously. Its a good wake up call to just have fun and remember that she may not like it when her guy only knows how to push one fun button but forgets to even play with the other four hundred! Likewise, most of us guys are past our teen years of hormonaly enraged, get to the point sex, and enjoy taking longer drives with more scenic vistas.
As far as the reciprocation goes, its the difference between finding a man that is good in the sack and finding a man that has a penis and wants you to do stuff to it.
Forget the books. Forget the articles. Forget even this brilliant little essay.
Why?
Because you should be learning what your lover likes and vice versa. Sure, all the sex advice columns, books, essays, and tomes give helpful little hints and bits of advice, but your lover is master of his/her body. They are the ones that will either guide you to the spots that float their boat best or can help you chart a proper course through here-to-fore unexplored waters.
No two vaginas are exactly alike. I'm pretty sure all of you ladies know this, and know that there are a set of standard tricks that, in general, work on pleasing nearly all women. I'm sure you all have a few little tricks that really just get you as an individual firing off your pleasure rockets.
So why do you, or would you, assume every penis is exactly alike?
YES... You are right on, as always. *giggle* You are correct about no penis or vagina being the same, just as there are different 'spots' to turn said penis or vagina on. We are all different. And I for one, like the exploration of finding those spots. A little hidden treasure that's all mine. Thanks Q... I don't think I am that confused anymore! lol
Again, GO BOOKMAMA!
Yes at the beginning of DH and my relationship I 'blew' him like a balloon! I didn't know "blowjob" was the same as phallacio. lol So if anyone still young, in this day and age of ~no~ sex ed, thinks so don't feel bad. Then again, I'm guessing you don't know the phallacio word.
All in all a good article! First one I've read that seems right on in the real world and not the American literary/magazine "what men think"! I can attest that what is written here makes for a happy male!
Just My 2cnts
Bright Blessings,
LyndaW