Tall Girl in Love
Confidence was the thing keeping her from dating and loving heels.
I've always been tall. At 16, I topped out at 5'11". An inch shy of six feet, I was told I had two occupational choices: modeling or basketball. I chose neither, mostly out of spite.
In my mind, tall equaled big. I longed to be petite. Adjectives that were supposed to define girls, like "dainty" or "cute," don't seem to coexist with "tall." And in fairy tales, the princess never towers over her hero. He has to be able to scoop her up onto his white stallion to save her from the foul dragon. While other girls were looking up at guys batting their eyelashes, I found it was impossible to look coyly standing eye-to-eye.
Shopping was no picnic either. Everyone told me they would "die for long legs," but they didn't realize covering them was a chore. There were no inseams long enough (this was before the handy capri pant came into style), and most skirts made me look like I was headed to work the street corner. And shoes? As birthdays crept by, it became increasingly difficult to look dressed-up wearing flats, but I did my best.
In college, a nightmare scenario loomed all too vividly in my mind. I could see a dashing young man across the room, our eyes meet; there are instant fireworks; dramatic music begins to play; he approaches… the record scratches. He is looking directly at my chin. Thus, while other girls were "shoe fanatics," I merely lusted after gorgeous shoes I could never wear. I couldn't bear the thought of being taller than even more guys than biology had dictated.
I did try heels. Once. When I was 18, I found an amazing pair of wedge heels too fabulous to pass up. The first time I wore them, I was with my best guy friend, who was also 5'11". His exclamation of "Did you grow?" promptly curbed my heel fixation.
When I began frequenting the weekly karaoke night at Neighbor's Pub, I met a gregarious, smooth-talking airline pilot from Queens. In shoes, Shane stands 5'7". His height instantly relegated Shane, along with many other men I'd met in my lifetime, into the undatable category. One night during a fabulous dance tune, I grooved my way over to him. "Wow, you're tall," he commented. My visceral reaction was to push him, showing my offense. Note to self: Dainty girls don't shove men across bars.
Discussion
Thank you so much for writing this article, it's wonderful to know I'm not the only one going through this. Or should I say went through this, because now I'm more than happy with my height. The double-edged sword of being a tall gal is that you're always going to stand out, whether or not you feel like it. I used to hate it when people I had never even met could chortle nothing but 'You're so tall!' as if they had just seen the bearded lady. It's so rude sometimes. There were moments when I would have loved to say: Hey, and you're short and chubby! Nothing we can do about that either. I think half the people who say this are jealous and trying to bring down our confidence. I always used to get the modeling/basketball thing as well; cute guys told me I should model and jealous girls told me I should play basketball. That was in my teens. But now, in my early twenties, I've learned how to walk with confidence and elegance (and also doing my fashion/beauty stuff much better), which makes me feel both statuesque and very feminine; dainty even, despite being tall! I'm so damn happy now when I walk into a room and I get noticed and admired. Some gapers are there too, but they're just stupid and will never get over themselves.
Bottom line: tall girls, be confident, learn the magic, learn how to carry yourself and life ain't nothing but a runway for us!!
Awesome post Emily. I have the same exact background where people think i only have two career choices (i think that's why i tried hard enough to model) and blurt out "you're tall" like i don't know it. my bf is shorter than i am and he too shows me he loves me by proudly parading me around with m 4 inchers. we are natural beauties but society forces a complex upon us that fortunately wears out with maturity. i wear heels ALL the time because they feel sexy and in the end i'm going to be taller than most anyway; why not be so in style?
Thanks for the article! It's so refreshing to know that I'm not the only almost-6-footer who's dating a shorter guy. In my own personal experience, I've found that shorter guys are nicer in general and not as vain or shallow as taller men.
Ditto to the article and other tall girls. I stand 5'10", though several men have accused me of being taller than that (rather than consider the possibility that they could be somewhat shorter than they say they are...).
Unlike the author, I haven't yet been set free from my desire to date a man who is "taller than me with heels on." (And jag, please get over yourself; women don't wear heels b/c they're healthy but b/c they're HOT!)
Numerous short men have asked me out, and I've briefly pursued getting to know some of them online--but I haven't been able to bring myself to go further than that. I'm casually dating two guys who are 6' and 6'1". If neither works out, maybe I'll consider one of the shorter brethren this time...
Too bad the increased confidence didn't keep you from buying into the illusion that women need 'fabulous shoes.' High heels are unhealthy for women of any height.
I've been married to my much shorter than me airline pilot husband for 22 years....
AND HE'S STILL HOT!!
I completely sympathize. By the time I was a freshman in high school, I was already 6 ft. tall, and kept getting the lines about modeling and basketball. In rebellion, I chose to be an engineer. However, I still thought that any guy I dated should be at least equal to me in height... if not taller. It turned out that my college major as well as my stature made me a rather intimidating figure, and none of the numerous tall guys could work up the guts to ask me out. When I met my future husband, I didn't even realize he was interested in me romantically at first because I just assumed that if a tall guy didn't have the self-esteem to challenge me to a date, then a soft-spoken, slender guy only 5'7" (a whole 5 inches shorter than me) couldn't possibly see me as an option. When I finally clued in, I realized how naive I had been. As the years passed and we married, I have found numerous ways to make light and take advantage of our "non-traditional" height differences. :)
Be PROUD of your height, and the jackass that asked you if you grew should be shot! I'm 5'8" and taller than a lot of men, so I can imagine what you went through. Hubby is 5'10", so we're a pretty good match, and when I have tall heels on I kind of like being taller! :-)
What a great article! Coming from a male audience some may find this post odd. I am only 5'8'' and I am severly attracted to taller women. I think tall women are extremely sexy. I constantly consult my friends and family about asking out tall women. I always get negative responses. Most tall women usually ignore me as well. Alas, I will not give up. Thank you for giving me hope to maybe find someone like you one day.
