Articles About Intimacy
Are you interested in having more intimacy in your life? It's certainly one of the issues that many of my couples and singles want to work on when they see me for private counseling sessions. The first thing I like to do is to define our terms. When some people talk about intimacy, they sometimes mean emotional intimacy. Some people mean sexual intimacy when they raise the issue. And some refer to both the emotional and physical aspects of intimacy.
Let's being with the emotional aspects of intimacy. A long time ago, I heard a … Read More
There are plenty of so-called truisms out there, all designed to make us “okay” with things that aren’t “okay.” For example, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” We all know that’s baloney. Words can hurt like hell.
And how about this one: “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” This truism has been readily debunked by the medical profession. Simply put, if you don’t know your tapioca pudding is laced with rat poison, having dessert will definitely hurt—if not kill—you.
It’s in the context of relationships where this truism is far too often … Read More
I want to talk about a question many of you ask yourself but rarely say out loud. How much sex is enough sex? What’s “normal?” So many people worry that they’re not having enough sex- or that they’re having too much. Take two people getting it on with the same frequency- twice per week. One may be completely frustrated because she wishes she was doin’ the bump daily. The other may be resenting the pressure from her partner and wish she could scale it back to once a month. Truth is, we’re all SO different.
What’s “Normal?”
According to the Kinsey Institute, … Read More
A good marriage has the attributes of friendship. There’s someone to zip your dress, give an opinion about what tie goes with the jacket, get aspirin for your headache, or laugh at your jokes. Good stuff. But what sustains a marriage and makes it GREAT is Emotional Intimacy. That’s what makes living together on a day-to-day basis, with all its ups and downs, easy and comfortable and why it’s important for every couple to have intimacy rituals that can be practiced regularly, even daily.
No, I don’t mean candles, heated massage oil, and the hot tub. Those are great—for sexual intimacy. But … Read More
Just before her 30th birthday, British journalist Hephzibah Anderson spotted her college boyfriend ring shopping with another woman ... and was startled to realize that he'd been her last meaningful relationship. Deciding that it was time to give up on flings and get serious about finding love, she decided to do the unthinkable: She gave up sex. Lemondrop: The Real Reasons Women Under 30 Aren't Having Sex
Well, for a year, at least.
By taking the focus off of the physical and putting it on to the emotional, Hephzibah hoped to figure out what she hoped to get out of … Read More
An old friend of mine, now in his 50s and married for three years, recently told me that he finds himself resisting his wife's eroticism. "I love cradling her and caring for her in a fatherly way, but when she wants to go to a lustful place during sex, something in me can't quite give over to it." His feelings are so compartmentalized that his desire to take care of her prevents him from being able to "take" her. He walks a tightrope between feelings of love toward his wife and the lustful feelings he only feels in … Read More
My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage. I stay home with the kids and he goes out into the world and "slays dragons." (Well, he works for the local gas and water company, but "slays dragons" sounds more edgy, doesn't it?) We are your typical chaotic family. On any given day, I'm breaking up sibling squabbles, staring into my pantry to see if the "dinner fairy" has again overlooked me, and trying to tame the calendar. Oh, I also clean up the dog poop. Besides his regular job, my husband juggles his fair share of home responsibilities too--cars, lawns, broken stuff, … Read More
What I’ve learned about sex after baby in the last six months.
Well this is the end of my Six Month Sex Challenge
It’s been six months since I’ve started this sex journey. My, my how time flies when you’re trying to raise two kids, work and have sex.
In a rare quiet moment, it hit me just how much has happened—from positive to negative. Flashes ranging from being so exhausted I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind; to being incredibly happy that I was making efforts; to fights over sex (god!); to extremely tender moments.
The last six months have … Read More
Wondering where the spark went in your relationship? Find it in the bedroom. When you're a couple, sex can be a great way to make your relationship stronger. Here, five reasons having sex is good for your relationship:
1. It bonds you. Do you feel super close with your guy after having sex? It's not your imagination. The brain releases oxytocin during sex, dubbed the "cuddle hormone." The result? You and your man feel a stronger bond. And in between the craziness and business of daily life, getting it on can be a great way to get close.
2. It makes you … Read More
